A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hiya, I'm 16 and I would like to know how I can keep one of my mates relaxed in public places as he get very tense around other people and saying "relax" definitely does not help. For instance we went to see a comedy gig tonight and he was never quite settled, always worrying about what's around him. Then we don't like talking to him because he gets snappy and it kind of ruins things for us. What can I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, philipgifts  +, writes (25 March 2009):
 He may have a people fobea, like when theres a lot of people around him. I had that issue for a while and I would look up and amagine that I was above everyone on the space above me or if I was with my friends I would focus on them. With me though it would happen in a big croud, where they were walking past and genty touching me, it would take my breath away. Have him focus in on you guys though or on the cieling. I don't have that fobea anymore but if it comes back I'll focus on the cieling or the main person in the room,if its a confrence. Assue him is long as his friends are there, theres nothing to weary about.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): He sounds agoraphobic, but I'm not an expert nor do I know your friend, I don't think there is much you can do to help, the best thing would be to learn to ignore it the less of an issue it is for you, the less it will be for him.
As you know confronting him about it doesn't help so there's not much else you can do. This is something that is lowering his quality of life though, so it is up to him to find help for it.
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