A
female
age
30-35,
*ebeccaaa
writes:I'm 15 and for about 3 months I was dating an 18 year old. Everything was perfect, until he had a warning from the police stating our relationship was illegal. Since we have agreed to be good friends until I'm 16 in about a month when we will decide whether to continue the relationship.The only problem is he's concerned about the age gap, he says he feels awkward and wants to get over that awkwardness because he loves me and wants me back. How can I help him get over this awkwardness? I suggested I try and be a bit more mature but he doesn't want that. How can I help him?
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2010): Ummm I'm a bit confused as to how the police came to know of your relationship and ALSO your relationship wasn't illegal unless you were having sex, which leads me to believe that the police (to have said your relationship was illegal) must have known you were having sex... Which doesn't sound very likely to me.
You and your boyfriend are free to be in a relationship if you don't have sexual relations until you're 16 (or if you at least keep discreet about any sexual relations you do have)
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (6 July 2010):
 There is not a lot you can do really - the problem is that the police have come in and made him feel like the relationship is wrong, so now in his head he sees you as a child and someone who it would be wrong to have a relationship with.
You cannot change yourself to help this situation, you should just keep on being you. Only time will tell when you have turned 16 to see if it makes any difference to him. You never know, as soon as he knows you are 16 it wont seem so bad anymore because in his head he will know you are now legal so it will all be ok. Or there is a chance you will forever be a child to him and he will always associate you with this massive age gap where he cant have a relationship with you.
I guess you are just going to have to wait and see! This was a risk you both took when you got into a relationship together in the first place, the police did the right thing to get involved and stop this so you are just going to have to live with the consequences. It is actually good to hear for once that the police have done something about underage teens dating adults - I have never heard of the police getting involved before so this is quite refreshing!
So sorry I cant be anymore help but you are just going to have to be patient - there is no point in trying to act like somebody you are not because he doesnt love that person, he loves the 15 year old you. But what needs to happen is for him to stop seeing you as the illegal 15 year old and for him to see you as a 16 year old he can date - but this is a change only he can make, and it is just him having to deal with the issues in his head. You cannot force him to feel ok with this, he is going to have to do it on his own.
I hope this helps and good luck!
...............................
|
