A
male
age
30-35,
*anicxoxo
writes:Dear Cupid,I'm Alex, and I'm an 18 year old gay male and for the past two years have been seeing Jason, who is 21 and lives about 3-4 hours away from me. We have been on and off these two years, and now I'm about to move to go to college and fortunately for both of us, the college that was the best choice for me is located very close to him. When we first met, he had finished his first year of college and I was just finishing my sophomore year in high school. The summer two years ago was perfect for us, we were constantly talking and got to see each other a lot, there weren't any complaints. But once school started again, it all went downhill. We decided to break up, and eventually saw other people and all that. We started talking towards the end of my junior year, and have basically been somewhat attached ever since, and it's been growing stronger and stronger lately. Here's my biggest issue. Jason claims to be completely faithful to me, but this past spring I found him on a gay dating website (I had a tip from a friend that he had an account), and confronted him about it, and he was very apologetic and wanted to make everything better. He deleted his account, and life went on. Well I decided to check up not too long ago and sure enough, he has one. He tried to explain to me that he had created it in one of our "off" periods and that he was faithful to me and that's all that matters. Then he told me we weren't technically together (which is totally true) and it would be different if we were living together or something, but this time around he totally defended having this account on the website. The other night I started to have all these realizations: Jason and I are about to be closer to each other, and it's either going to make or break this relationship; we're not technically together now so why should I think this will magically change when I get there?; the truth is about to all come out and everything. This transition is going to be really weird, so how should I handle it? I want to make this work, I know it'll be hard between school and work, but I really don't think I've gone through this for two years for nothing, and I'm just scared about everything, terrified. Is there any advice whatsoever you can offer me?Thank you so much,Alex
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2010): I would tell him that if you're going to be in a relationship, that he can't have accounts on those types of sites; but if you are going to be in a serious relationship, you have to trust your partner to be faithful. If he loves you, he's not going to want to hurt you. Talk to him about why you don't want him to go on dating sites, and maybe you can work out a compromise: if you are on a break, he can have an account, but when you're back together, he has to delete it, no questions asked.However, there's also the possibility that this relationship may not be strong enough, for you two to be able to resolve your problems. With you moving closer, things will change a lot and be difficult(as you pointed out). If you love him, keep trying to make your relationship work, but be prepared to face the realization that it may fall apart.I hope this helps, and i really hope this all works out for you. Good Luck! :)
A
female
reader, Jazzmine  +, writes (6 July 2010):
 Well panicxoxo (Alex)
I would say that you shouldnt worry too much if this guy means a lot to you and you should think that it will magicly change because you are going to be closer to him and probably see a lot more of him.
I know that this isn't extremely good advice but I hope it helps!!!
Jazzmine xxx
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