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age
30-35,
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writes: 2 years ago my cousin and his friend raped me, and i fear my g-pa is going to die soon, how can i go to a funeral with that monster being there too? I need help on this question.............
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): First off.....I give you my deepest sympathy regarding your grandfather. Now about your cousin....You say this happened two (2) years ago. I gather that this was not reported to the police or anyone else at that time. Well anyway, if what I believe is true...then 'still go to the funeral'. Hold your head up high and act normal around everyone. You are an adult now and you should go and pay your respects to your grandfather and with your family. If your cousin approaches you, then tell him to get lost and leave you alone...to not say anything to you. If he persists...then tell one of your closet relatives about what happened and the reason you don't want any contact with him. After the funeral and repass....if you want....you can either forget about this incident again or you can go to the police and "still report him and have him charged. The only thing is this....if he too was under 18 years of age when this happened, then the legal system will try and do a hush-hush thing with it. It is so sad this happened to you and I wish you the best of luck.BadVoiceWash DC
A
female
reader, A Cappella  +, writes (8 April 2008):
 If you can, you should tell your parents. They will be able to protect you.
If you can't tell them, please try to find someone at school or a doctor to confide in. You really need to find someone who can help you get though this, even if you don't have to go to a funeral. It's not too late to find a rape crisis center that you call, where people who have been through what you have can help you.
As for the low-life cousin, do what you can to stop giving him room in your head. Let him go so that you can get on with your life. If you and he both go to the funeral, don't be alone with him.
Good luck hon.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (8 April 2008):
 Hi,
Sorry to hear about your G-Pa, it must be very hard for you.
You dont say if these scummy men were charged with the assult. Its entirely up to you if you go to the authorities, except to say like the other aunt. "Whats to stop them doing this again", to some other poor victim. Unfortunatly I totally understand just how hard that is. I wish that I could say that I didnt.
If you go to the funeral, and they are there. You know that you can hold your head up high, after all its not like you did anything wrong is it?. They are the ones who should be ashamed honey, not you!. Stick by another male member of your family, and dont even bother looking at them. You will be going to say good bye to someone that you loved and respected, not the lower scum in the family.
XXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): Definitely tell someone, preferably the police honey. You've been so brave over the past 2 years and you seem to have dealt with this horrible situation well. If you tell the police, they'll have the power to say that you can go to the funeral and he can't, if your wishes are that you want to be kept away from him. Funerals are bad enough, with the feeling of such a big loss, and having him there will only make it worse. Don't worry okay honey, the police can sort this out for you. He deserves to be punished for this awful thing that he did to you, and not going to the funeral is only the beginning. They can even put a restraint order on him!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (8 April 2008):
You need to tell someone what happened. You've been incredibly brave in dealing with it so far but it must be haunting you.
What is to stop them from doing it again to some other poor girl? Are you happy to let them get away with it?
I'm not saying you have to go to the police but tell someone you trust and work out how to do this.
If you have to go to the funeral with them there. Stick with someone you feel safe with. Stick with your dad or uncle and make sure your family keeps the monster away from you, and any other vulnerable your girls.
My gut instinct is to tell you to go to the police and get the sicko locked up and away from you. But I know it is up to you and I know that's a big step so that is your decision.
Good Luck!! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): Who else knows about this? I hope you informed the police and all the family. If so then you will have plenty of protection and backing, but if not, then maybe now is the time to spill the beans and get him arrested or else get him punished. You dont deserve this and people like this make me so angry. You shouldnt have to creep around because of scum like this. Make sure someone knows.
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