A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok I'm looking for some advice about making friends. Basically I'm 27 and I went through a painful break up about 4 months ago. I'm currently back living with my parents, but I've noticed I don't seem to have much of a social life any more so I'm a bit down. Most of my friends are all coupled up, and although they have been nice to me since the split they haven't really been interested in doing anything with me. It's like now I'm single I don't get invited anymore. So I've been trying to make some new friends but I'm finding it hard. I've joined a couple of clubs (photography and pilates) but everyone in them is at least 20 years older than me and although they are pleasant, they don't seem interested in being friends outside of the club environment.I recently came up with an idea to look for someone about my age who is looking for a roommate, but is that a stupid idea? I thought maybe I might find a girl/girls in a similar situation to me who are looking for friends but I don't know if I'm clutching at straws. Does that only happen in sitcoms?!I guess I'm trying to move on with my life but I'm struggling because I feel totally on my own. Has anyone been through this before?
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (3 April 2013):
 Hi
I think the flatshare idea is brilliant it gets you into a different environment and away from your parents.
I know a lot of people who try it. Do make sure you meet all the 'sharers' and have questions ready to ask them. It can open a new life and is a good way to meet people in your situation.If you don't feel a flat is right don't move in, or you could advertise,Gumtree is good if they have a page for your area.
Its not uncommon being newly single and your friends dating.Maybe in the meantime you could suggest a girls night out with them, if you tell them your plans they may even know somebody who needs a flatmate
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2013): I feel the same way and I am about 10 years older. I would say join a dating site. Find someone and then slowly rejoin your "coupled up" group of friends.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2013): I know exactly how you feel. im 35, single (seeing someone for a couple of weeks so not sure if it will become serious) and live with my parents. I was thinking of a joining a photography club but saw the average age was about 55-60 so thought better of it LOL
Most my friends are either married with kids or just not "social" so I spend a lot of time fed up.
I did try various "friend" meeting type websites, the kind where you can do various activities and meet people in a non romantic sense but found a lot of the people to be, well, lacking social skills.
It doesn't help that I moved from a major city to a much smaller one. Not much for a younger person to do.
So you are not alone I can assure you!
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (2 April 2013):
 A flatshare is a good idea, just be careful about vetting the housemates who already live there before you move in. What I mean by that is chances are they may well already have boyfriends/girlfriends, and then the boyfriend/girlfriend is round the house ALL the time making it very annoying for the other tenants.
So while looking for a houseshare is a good idea, you just have to be careful about the people you are moving in with. Often the landlord will show you around the house, thinking you are only going to be interested in the house and you dont get to meet the other people living there. So make sure you ask to meet the other tenants before you agree to anything!
This is a good website to use - http://www.spareroom.co.uk/
Another good website is this one - https://www.citysocializer.com/
You can make new friends (many of whom will be in similar situations to you, or might be new to the area) so will be looking for new friends to hang out with.
What you are experiencing is very common, and it is really tough when you are newly single and all your friends are settled down - so you are not alone! Moving out from your parents will be good for you just for the freedom alone, and fingers crossed if you find the right houseshare you might make some new friends. And that citysocializer website is a really brilliant idea, hopefully you live close enough to a town/city to benefit. The website is a friendship site only, it is not a dating site and doesnt promote romantic relationships, just friendships and groups of people to hang out with and have fun with.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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