A
female
age
30-35,
*yra23
writes:I'm getting worried. I'm 23yrs old and I seem to live mostly inside my head. I can't make a move on men (and I just wish there was a nice guy that could read me LOL). At the same time I know I'm bissexual and my closest female friends always fall for me (I'm serious! They hit on me! And I hit on the latest one). I don't want to be in a lesbian relationship it doesn't make me feel complete. I want a loving husband and children...I don't want to be single forever...I see my acquaintances getting into serious relationships and I'm stuck! And I like men in their forties (single men off course!!!) and it makes it more difficult). Please give some advice or kind words. Thanks
View related questions:
lesbian, move on, older men Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Kyra23 +, writes (2 April 2013):
Kyra23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just came here to say thanks to my first two answers! They're wise I'm thinking about it. To CMMP: Rationally I know I'm just 23yrs old and I'm young, but honestly I have this "freudian complex" that I wan't to settle down before my mother did. She only got married at 34 and had me at 35 and she seems really cold emotionally (no friends, barely talks to anyone at all - she's good to me though)Wise Owl: I'm happy that I got an answer from a gay person. Your advice helps me tremendously. I'm not a tease (I know you didn't call me one) actually my best friend is the tease; she's always breaking up with her boyfriend and wants me badly...but as sexperiment. It pisses me off that she always showers me with drama from the bf and then hits on me (what a b*tch but she's my friend, sister and hottie all in one). From 12-18yrs I thought I was 100% lesbian, I fell in love with some girls...but now I'm getting man-crazy! I think I'll focus on that and it's not about what society thinks I'm a bit eccentric anyway so they can handle it! Well sorry for all the detailed explanation but that's me! I'm all bla bla bla
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (2 April 2013):
I'm not sure what you're hoping to hear, but I don't think you're old enough to have to start worrying about not finding anyone worthy of a serious relationship. I met my wife when I was 29. I had serious relationships before but never met "the one". I'm glad I trusted my instincts and waited for the right person to come along.
Regarding meeting older guys, you'll need to learn how to flirt. The problem is that you probably don't run in the same social circles as guys that age, so you can't get to know many of them too well. And subtle flirting won't work very well because they'll just think you're being nice (because why would you want someone their age?).
What you'll have to do is attempt to leave no doubt that you're interested without coming on as being easy.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2013): I'm gay, and I will respond from that position first. You may not have had that much experience with men sexually. I mean, you may be attracted to older men, but your strongest attraction may be toward women. Your sexual preference is naturally centered on who you pursue the most. Men or women.It is not unusual for gay or bisexual people to want a family. We're people with the usual hopes and dreams. The difference only being a sexual and emotional attraction to those of the same sex. We're not space aliens or androids mimicking human needs and emotions. Although I have met a few who are.As a bisexual, you can fantasize about a traditional marriage with kids. It is also a part of who you are, and how you were predisposed earlier in life. We are taught that only traditional marriages are valid or matter. So you live in conflict. You don't want to sacrifice being a mom someday for being in a lesbian relationship. Do not assume that means it will be void of children and happiness. That isn't true anymore. There will be an emotional and moral tug of war within you always. This is due to society and how they view homosexuality. Time resolves most of our inner conflicts. A special person walks into our lives; and we decide then and there what we want, and what it is that one person satisfies deepest within you. Love. That's what your preference should be based on.You probably haven't had a serious, or deep long-term relationship with a man or a woman. Only flirtations and sexual experimentation. The time will come when your feelings will be more involved, and you will decide exactly what will make you happy and fulfilled.You should date older men and see how it feels. Determine if it really satisfies you emotionally and sexually. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. Always be honest with anyone you become intimate with. You should not mislead people into thinking you're someone you're not. You must let any man you become emotionally involved with know that you also are sexually attracted to women. Your past, and the truth, will follow you where ever you go.He must sort out his feelings about it; so they aren't based on false perceptions. Don't let someone else surprise him with things about you that you tried to hide. It isn't fair. Lies (and the deliberate omission of the truth) destroys relationships.As for women. Don't be a tease or play with people's feelings. If it's merely flirtation or experimentation, make sure all involved know the facts from the start. It boosts the ego to be hit on; but keep it all in good fun and reasonable perspective.Keep things balanced and honest; and you can deal with relationships based on truth. You'll find love and happiness, and fulfill all your dreams. You have choices. No one can deprive you of what you truly want and deserve, but you.
...............................
|
