A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. This isn't a love problem well not exactly. It's just I have no motivation! I have a baby of 9 months. After I gave birth I was actually slimmer than what I had been for a couple of years! But then I started piling on the pounds again, I want to lose weight but when it comes to doing exercise I make excuses. My diet isn't too bad, although I do get tempted by chocolate a lot lately. Also it doesn't help that I don't get out much, I moved to a new area with my boyfriend and I stay home most the time. Also I cover my body a lot and don't like showing myself off to my boyfriend, I feel ashamed. What can I do? Any advice please?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): Check out my blog at http://betheweightyouwant.com . There are posts on motivation to start and why/how to keep the motivation going.
A
male
reader, CoachRick  +, writes (19 April 2009):
Emotional change is almost never permanent. We feel emotional conflict which leads us to act. Then because we have acted we feel better. This happens even if we haven't changed that much. For instance we have not made a lifestyle change but we loose just a few pounds.
We then begin to feel better about ourselves and the emotions lessen. Less emotion means less reason to continue do the things that reduced the conflict. We stop eating correctly.
Since we feel better we no longer feel a pressing need to follow through with the actions it took. Then the original behavior returns.
We need to find an outcome motivation. Lets use optimal health for this one. In order to reach a goal of optimal health we need to learn habits to achieve the goal. While learning those habits we make lifestyle changes to reach the final goal. Now that the lifestyle is changed and the goal is ongoing, there is more motivation to stay that way.
Pair that up with the same goal for your family and others around you and you have a constant form of motivation to stay on track.
Remember each choice is a chance to learn and every choice is but a moment. Give yourself the best you can in that moment and your choices will get easier and more consistent with your goal.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (18 April 2009):
 I am in a similar situation to you. I would like to shed a few of those baby pounds - I lost weight after I had him, but then it creeped on as I had a back injury meaning my movement was restricted for about a year and I have some metabolic problems which incline me to gain weight. I think confidence is a big part of the post-baby weight problem, as well as fatigue from looking after that little person. I now go out with the buggy into a local park as often as I can - do 20 mins walking around the park gets the heart rate up. There is no point starving yourself to lose weight in my view as you need energy with a young baby at home. There are classes in most sports centres aimed at new mothers, and some offer creche facilities. Perhaps you might try that? Or if you prefer something more private, you could buy gym equipment for home and set yourself a target. I would also say that you are still in that postnatal period where your body will continue to change - my little boy is 17 months now and I still feel that my body hasn't got back to where it was...I think it is normal though, having a baby is a big change in lots of ways!
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A
female
reader, pebble +, writes (18 April 2009):
 I'll share a tip with you that I felt helped me get back into shape after I put on a bit of weight.I went through all the magazines I had in my house, cut out lots of pictures of celebrities and other random people that looked fantastic and I made several collages that I stuck all around my house. On the bathroom door (opposite the toilet - you'd be suprised how much time you spend looking at that bit ;) ), on my wardrobes (gave me a bit of inspiration each time I went to pick an outfit in the morning) and more importantly on the fridge door (looking at Kylie Minogue's waist and Scarlet Johansson's thighs stopped me reaching for another chocolate mousse).Doing this really kicked me into touch. It made me realise that I either sit around and be unappy about myself, compare myself to everyone around me and always come out worse OR I could actually do something about it and make myself feel fantastic again.Don't be too hard on yourself though, that body of yours made that beautiful little baby you have. Start off slowly with a few brisk walks or some gentle swimming and you'll soon see some results. I hope I helped a little. Good luck.
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