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I found a pair of my panties hidden in my stepson's room! How do I approach this?

Tagged as: Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 April 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 April 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, *emperarily disturbed writes:

I am a stepmother to a 16 year old boy. I recently discovered a pair of my panties hidden in his room between the wall and the bed. It was apparent that he was using them to ejaculate into. It was also apparent that he had used them on multiple occasions. I am very distressed. I have not talked to my stepson about it, he doesn't even know they're missing yet. I haven't told my husband even, but I am planning to when he comes home. Please somebody, what could he (my stepson) be thinking? How do my husband and I approach him?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009):

The line to walk on this is to have him understand the difference between masturbation generally (normal, natural, etc.) and doing so in a way that makes others uncomfortable. Obviously your privacy has been invaded, not to mention the other aspects of this situation that could put you off.

As a step-mother you're probably only just building a relationship with the boy, and he's at a tough age. Better to leave it to your husband to talk to him -- ASAP, but only once your husband is calm about it.

The boy has to learn what's appropriate, how to be discreet, and above all respectful of others.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009):

At that age his hormones are all over the place. He probably doesn't even know what he is thinking. This is probably going to be extremely embarressing for him so try to keep calm and handle this delicatly. I can see why you'd be distressed, but when he finds out that you know, he too is probably going to end up very distressed and maybe even humiliated.

I think maybe it would be best of you told your husband and let him handle it with his son by himself. Your step son would probably more embaressed and may react badly is you were to confront him... Even if you did so in the most gental manor. Man to man might not be as bad.

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