A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend, who up until now was my best friend. She has become really childish, she makes horrible, nasty comments. And always puts me down. She always wants to be around me, I think she gets some kind of pleasure by making me feel bad.I don't want to be around her anymore. How can I get rid of her, bearing in mind that we know almost all each other's secrets etc etc.I feel like I'm back in grade 7!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2007): In friendships there is an ebb and flow of emotions. It really is a good idea to remember why your friends in the first place, and remind her why you ever told her your secrets, you trust her. Tell her you care for her and want to remain friends. Maybe your spending just way to much time together? It is in your best interest to let her know all the great things you think about her before you let her know she is hurting you and acting out of character. You are still calling her your friend. Secrets are best keep to ourselfs, I know I have so been burned.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (19 March 2007):
 I'm afraid that when it comes to confrontation, women really would rather avoid it and most women tend to cut and run when a friendship becomes toxic. If you don't feel that there is going to be any future or improvement in her attitude, don't feel that you owe her an explaination and get as far away from her as possible. I know that goes against the grain (we women are raised to be ladies and take care everyone else's feelings) but she has some kind of agenda here and your letting her treat you like this is giving her get exactly what she wants. You don't need to know why she wants to put you down, you just need to extracate yourself from the relationship. You can't change a toxic relationship. Please don't feel guiltly, just get out of there. Good Luck and Take Care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): You try to push her further and further into the background. Don't tolerate any of this. When she starts putting you down, be firm and ask her what she is thinking of when she does it. Ask her just what pleasure she gets from putting her friend down. Tell her you wouldn't dream of doing it to her. Make some new friends or get out there with some friends you might not of seen for some time. Just don't put up with this. Gradually get rid of her and move on.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (19 March 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
It's always terrible when things like this happen. Perhaps telling her that your feelings are hurt when she says something nasty will help her to realize what she's doing. Maybe she doesn't understand that her remarks are making you feel bad about yourself - does she think she's being funny or something? It's strange that she would all of a sudden get like this. Perhaps she's jealous over something?
It's shame that a friendship would have to end over something like this. Have you had a heart to heart talk with her about what you feel has been going on? Maybe she doesn't even realize what's happening. You know they say "misery loves company" - did something happen to her recently? Maybe this is a call for help from her. Something doesn't sound right to me...
But, if she's acting like this over nothing and just enjoys to treat you like dirt (some people really do enjoy this sort of thing!), then I think maybe it's time you start to be too busy to see her. If you don't hang out as often, you'll start to drift apart. And it seems like you're worried your secrets might be told, so it might be safer than telling her she's a jerk and leaving her in this way.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (19 March 2007):
 I think you should avoid this girl, she dosen't sound like a very nice person, and seems to want to scould you all the time.
I can only assume that for whatever reason she is jealous of you which is why she puts you down.
I would try to distance yourself from her as much as you can, and be with friends who treat you with the respect you deserve.
Good luck x
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