A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a VERY hard time trusting my boyfriend. Last year around this time, he betrayed my trust and then a few months after that, he did it once again. There was never cheating involved, that I am aware of at least, but I don't believe there really ever was. It was just stupid lies about where he had been and with whom, which is stupid in the first place. Second time I had found phone numbers from other girls in his car, which he said he was keeping for his friend. Both of these are soooo stupid and I know, but because I know he can lie about stuff like that, he could most likely lie about something bigger. For the last couple weeks he has started to act suspicious yet once again. I have looked through his phone, our phone records and have found texts and phone calls from an unknown phone number. I let him know what I did and he justified the whole thing. I love him so much, but yet it's so hard to trust him. How can I just let everything go that has happened before and just move on from it. I don't want to be like this. I love what we have together, it's just that 1% that I'm not so sure about sometimes. Please, someone help! I don't want to ruin this great thing we have together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): Gaining trust that was once there will always be hard to get back.
If he's done twice, he'll doing it again. He may change but his actions will tell you so.
Just be alert. Go out with your friends and have fun.
I think your 1% is pretty much your 90% because you wouldn't be on here asking us for our advice.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): Im having the same problem getting over my boyfriend for lying to me. I think that because he was so convincing with his lies im affraid to believe his word about the things im insecure about. I feel lost having doubts yet im not ready to give this one up...
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A
female
reader, Eni  +, writes (12 December 2007):
Trust me, I have been there and done dat. I have been in ur exact situation but the difference is; I think its the guy who should be scared about not making any mistakes so he doesnt scare u away. He should know that trust is eraned and not automatic. You can never trust him just yet. I f he doesnt give u any reason to doubt him, u will automatically begin to trust him. Girl, our instincts are very sharp and when ever we suspect stuff, there is always a story behind it. Talk to him about your fears and if he still continues with his dodgy attitude, threaten to leave and see wat happens...
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A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (11 December 2007):
 The key to solve this problem:
1) stop checking on him
2) Never call him when he is out or away for business or any other matter
3) Lessen and shorten the call YOU make to him
4) Look very happy whenever you are together
He will be yours and he will not do anything against you.
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (11 December 2007):
 You are speaking of this as if its your fault. You dont have to get over anything. He is the one that has to convince you to trust him again, not the other way around. I understand where your coming from because he is the one that lied to you so until he proves to you that you can trust him, then you would have the right to feel secure about your relationship. Dont have a guilty conscience if you didnt do anything to betray the trust between the two of you. Talk to him and let him know what you feel about your trust towards him and why. Tell him that the only way you can gain that trust for him again is if he makes an effort to gain it for himself. Good luck!
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