A
male
age
30-35,
*ice
writes:This is gonna be long..sry ! i need help tho..Ok so today me and my girlfriend were alone in the house..we started taking of our clothes etc..started foreplay and stuffbutshe had her panties onand i was trying to think a way to go inside her without her seeing me put the condom on..i mean it wouldnt be nice if we stopped foreplaying and i just put it on. i wanted to give her oraland while she was receiving i would puut the condom on...i would be hard that time ..right? anyway she didnt want me to give her oral..and i couldnt think any other ways to do so..because of 1 bad sex experience i had with a 25 years old women i was kinda scared. my girl is virginwhen she didnt want oral..i had already lost my erection..in foreplay erections come and go but when i lost it i kept thinkin about it and i knew that i had to stop thinking about my erection or else i wont get erect again..and i didnt..and i found the excuse that we should wait more..we both had our panties on so yeah..am 16 n had one time sex and it was bad..i lost my erection during intercourse coz it was too cold on the beach and now am always insecure about my erection..and my girl is 16 virgin..the real thing about the oral part is that i would kinda make it slippy..even if i wasnt hard enough i would still go inside her..but when she didnt want oral i really got scared and i was thinking about the erection all the time..i was thinking that i might not be hard enough and i wouldnt be able to go inside her and would get embarassed...with my excuse "we should wait more" my girlfriend got upset..she said why..am ready so do u..why not? and she was kinda dissapointed...really how cAn i get over my erection phobia?PLEASE really help meits too frustrating... =(PLEASE HELP ME
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condom, erection, foreplay, insecure, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, alishamarie08  +, writes (10 June 2009):
She probably didn't know what you were going to do when you wanted to give her oral or she might have been nervous! Just relax!!!!
A
male
reader, koenig  +, writes (1 June 2009):
I'm not endorsing sexual behaviour if it's illegal at your age in your locality. Assuming it is legal, he is some advice:
Basically you just need to relax. Not just you, both of you.
I'd suggest that you both spend some time together, completely naked. Don't plan sex at any time during this, just enjoy making out and exploring each other's bodies. Let your hands wander, touch each other anywhere. Kiss each other all over your bodies. It may be a little awkward at first for you both, but it should actually make you more comfortable in the long term. Enjoy how it feels, don't worry about whether you have an erection or not, I'm sure your girlfriend will understand.
Communicate! You need to talk to your girlfriend if you're worried about how you'll perform, tell her why you feel that way (not too graphic though). She'll probably be very patient with you and it'll all be much easier.
For some reason, men seem to get very worried about how they'll be on their first time (or second or third...). But you shouldn't be. Almost everyone is completely crap when they're new to sex (men and women), it actually takes quite a bit of practice until you're good at it. Just enjoy the experience, she won't exactly have anything to compare it to will she?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): I know this is hard, but don't worry about it. You said it was cold on the beach when you have trouble...pick a place that is nice and warm to have sex and know that it will be even warmer inside your gf, lol. Don't worry!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): Sorry to tell you, the only way it's gonna work is if you stop worrying about it.
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