A
male
age
41-50,
*mbalmer
writes:Im a gay guy that hangs out with mostly straight guys. Im in a situation that im having feelings with one of my straight guy friends. He has a girlfriend but whenever we hang out he likes to watch porn. He knows i like him and allows me to give him body massages everytime we hang out. We're at the point where he lets me feel his penis but is causious when he begins to get aroused. When he get an erection he pulls my had away. He only lets me touch his privates through his pants but wont let me touch it directly. He just cant get passed this stage. I express to him my desire to take it to the next level and he leads me to believe it will happen one day but i feel like he's going to slow and question whether or not he's serious about me or is just leading me on because i supply him with "escape" from his relationship by offering him a place to drink and watch porn, two of his favorite things to do but is not allowed to do when he is at home with his live in girlfriend. So my question is how can i get him to get passed just the "touching" phase to orally pleasuring him and maybe more. He is aware of what i want but just hasn't done it. I want to know what can be going on in his mind that is now allowing him to take it to the next level. I've known him for 3 yrs but have only gotten to the touching, feeling point in the last 8 moths..
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male
reader, thebone12  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 you know what its never ok to cheat and that is what this is he is cheating and your not cool to let him move on
A
male
reader, NightLad  +, writes (4 June 2009):
 It may be that his hesitation is not a response to you personally, but is rather based on the realization that his actions up to this point constitute infidelity within his committed relationship.
If he were going to allow for anything more, than it would surely have happened in the past 8 months. I’m sorry, but I believe this arrangement can only end in pain and possibly a total breakdown of your friendship. In this dynamic you are the facilitator.
You must realize that, as a heterosexual, he can never reciprocate your desires or feelings. There are many possible reasons for his actions up until this point. I won’t speculate on them individually because in the end they are moot. The only reasonable and positive change you can make in this repeating cycle of frustration and eventual pain would be to end it; amicably is possible, finally if necessary.
I wish you the best.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (1 June 2009):
 alcohol can in my experience make straight men receptive to gay sex-i'm gay and find i get desire for women when drunk, this is a common effect among both sexes. he just likes taking the piss it seems and you like letting him.
he probably thinks that if there is clothing between that its not cheating, i reckon he would go "all the way" if he didn't have a grilfriend but that once reality dawned on him and the alcohol wore off it would be a different story. you cant spend your life on alcohol just to alter your prefernce.
this isn't doing your self esteem any good from what i can see, but i also understand that the gay scene can be shit and i personally hang out with people based on friendship not sexuality. most of my friends are straight.
good luck
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