A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im seventeen, and when i was 13 i did a pretty stupid thing and its hanuted me for the rest of my life.It was they day before my mums birthday, and i was off school because it had been snowing.I went into the city with 3 other girls (my best mates) we were shopping and looking around, and i had to get a coat. I remember telling the girls to go ahead to the new make up store and il catch them up, as i went threw to boots around 8 or 9 girls stopped me and told them to get them some of this new coloured eyeliners being brought out, and as you can guess if i didnt i was going to be a dead girl.So i started panicking, i only thought threw two options, either blow around 20 quid out of the £35 i had which was ment to go on a coat or steal it, when your a child you see telling as not an option. I kick myself everyday for not telling someone in the store.so i grabbed three eyeliners and shoved them up my pocket, and walked out of the shop too see them all stood across from the store, as i started to walk up to them and now everything goes blury. I remember feeling someone grab my throat, and cover my eyes. I thought i was being abducted, i remember struggling, as this persons hands were so tight around my throat and were pulling me backwards. I then heard my friend shout if you dont get off her im phoning the police, and a women trying to pull me free. It wasnt untill then that the man moved his hands from around my face and neck and said that he was boots security.He dragged me back into the shop by the collar of my top, too which i got inside and had a panick attack, they took me to a room and a women that worked there calmed me down and i explained what happend. Whilst the man ( which was dressed in normal clothes!) told me to shutup.They asked me where the items were, but i had dropped them in my struggle and unbelievably the girls who they were for had picked them up and ran.They made me ring my mum and expain and she went mad, as you can imagine, but when she got there and seen the state on me she realised that i was scared stiffless.They didnt press charges but banned me from the store and made me pay back the money.The problem is now still to this day i have nightmares about the mans face, and how he was strangling me, and everytime i see a make up store i go into panick attack mode, and have to sit down. When im buying make up, or small items i see myself thinking people are looking at me and i end up holding up the item so everyone can see im not stealing it.How can i overcome this? Its still terrfiying me to this day.
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (31 May 2009):
 I think there are a couple of issues here for you to consider. If this shoplifting incident occurred within 3 years then I would be recommending that you see a personal injury solicitor to make a claim for psychological injury. Shop security staff have limited powers of detention of suspects of all ages, particularly minors, and what you describe definitely overstepped the mark of acceptable treatment. Heavy-handedness needs to be addressed particularly when it causes long-term psychological trauma such as you describe. Although I am not condoning shop-theft, you were young and the shop obviously did not pursue the matter by prosecuting you due to lack of evidence. Although they did not contact the police, I would say that you (or your mother) should have to report an assault (which is essentially is what happened). There would have been CCTV footage of the incident to support your claim. There is an obvious need for re-training of security staff who feel they can assault members of the public - whether they are on the rob or not!
What you are experiencing sounds like a post-traumatic stress disorder. If it is life-limiting then see your GP and ask for a referral to a specialist counselling service dealing with psychological disorders. It would help you overcome your sense of anxiety.
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