A
female
age
41-50,
*wisted
writes:I'll get right to the point cause this is a long one.The relationship I have is a relationship that started in a very bad way. We BOTH were engaged to other people and we became good friends while he was doing work on my house. We were both unhappy in our relationships (mine was abusive) and since day one, we always talked about somehow being connected in such a strong way, it was kind of strange (we both said it was like it was in a past life or something). We both felt that we were supposed to be together forever, like it was the natural thing to do and we didnt even have a physical relationship at that point! O.K.,skip forward about 3 months and I left my fiance in a VERY BAD break-up. Skip another 9 months and he broke up with her. Yes, we were cheating, yes, that is terrible. I know this whole heartedly. I didn't see it at the time, I justified it by how much in love I thought we were, feelings that neither of us had ever felt (I was with my fiance for over 10 years, he was with her for 6). It was incredibly selfish and disrespectful and hurtful to them both, but I cant undo what had been done. We moved in togethe and had a child. I then found out he had been unfaithful during a visit with his daughter (they have a 5 1/2 year old together). Being the person I am, I forgave him in order to move forward with our lives (stupid, I know). He ended any physical relationship they had/were having BUT he then started (or kept) an emotional relationship, through many arguments and incidences proving this, I have decided enough is enough. I know I deserve better. I had been afraid to leave earlier for many reasons, some being that I have a 16 month old, and also I'm 32 and have to start over. I know that doesn't seem old to some, but to date, meet someone, have a relationship, fall in love an see if it leads to the whole marriage/children thing, it just seems like a rough age to do so. Now the kicker. I HAVE TO live with him at least for a few more months due to some very compicated and irreversable issues at hand. He has made it very clear he doesn't want to leave me and is very hurt, but also says he cannot promise he can let her go. As twisted as his mind works, he really feels like I should just put this aside and focus on our relationship. Sociopathic if you ask me. But this comes from his heart, crazy as it is.So, here's my question; HOW THE HELL DO I GET OVER HIM WHILE LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE???? I am dying inside, I cry constantly, and at times he even cries with me (this from the man who NEVER cries). I am devistated. I believe this is my karma for the horrible thing I did to her. I know my actions (and his) were unforgivable, so I dont need to hear what a horrible person I am, or how I deserved this. I already know this. I just need to know how to get over him while he's sleeping in the next room? Its a friggin 1 bedroom apartment! Also, I do try to get out of the house as often as I can, so that's also another suggestion I dont need. Please help if you can.
View related questions:
broke up, engaged, fiance, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, twisted +, writes (2 August 2009):
twisted is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you for your answer. unfortunately, all we've done is talk, and talk, and talk for over a month now. He always says the same thing; he IN-LOVE with me and wants to be with me, but loves her and cant let her go. I believe it's not that he can't, but that he wont. I cant accept it anymore, I do not want to cry in front of son anymore , let alone by myself and in front of his father. I'm just sick of it. All I want to do is not care anymore.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): I know dis isnt what you wanna hear...but not everyone gets their love to love them back. i wud suggest u try workin it out as there is a baby involved. guys dont cry unless it really bothers them. try talkin it out with him bfore decidin to end it all.
...............................
|
