A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I was planning to get married shortly but my boyfriend has 2 children and doesn't want anymore. I did want another child and have tried everything to get him to change his mind but he will not budge. Although we have been very careful and used contraception I am now pregnant. My boyfriend is not pleased and has gone into doing his duty role but isn't interested. For this reason and things he has said I no longer want to be with him. I don't want him having anything to do with the baby. He has told me he feels excluded but I don't want him to be with me when I know he didn't want this and is not genuinely interested. I don't really care if he changes his mind in months to come because I can do this by myself as I have done before. Deep down I don't want to exclude him but I feel very angry that he has had children before with other people but for some reason I am deemed not good enough. He says I am older and it is dangerous etc which is true but I am getting expert care and am in good condition. My question is am I being unfair or a bit crazy or should I stick to my guns. I don't even know if i am just trying to prove a point but i feel very strongly that if he didn't want a child with me then he shouldn't be involved.
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (2 August 2009):
 When you are pregnant, your emotions can be all over the place...it can be hard to think clearly about things. Of course there are increased risks of pregnancy as you get older but that doesn't mean you will have any problems personally. I don't know if your boyfriend is rejecting you as the mother of his child, or the idea of more children. I would think it is probably the second one given that he has children already. Accidents happen and children arrive in the world as a result of them. I think you have every right to feel hurt that he doesn't seem interested in you and the baby. However, I wouldn't shut him out completely - being a single parent is tough going and your baby will grow up asking difficult questions about 'Dad' that you have to prepare for. Keep the door open on contact between your BF and the baby even if your own relationship isn't working out. As a father he will have rights of access, as he has obligations of financial support. It would be easier for you if your relationship with him remains amicable at least. Try not to stress out about this as you must now focus on you and your baby.
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