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How can I get over always thinking he wants to be with her??

Tagged as: Cheating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 February 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 February 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex last year while i was heavily pregnant with our 2nd son, and even though i hated him at the time i took him back.

Now our son is 4 months old, and our first born is 2, and my boyfriend wants us to start having a regular sex life again. He's been good to me and our sons since he came back but i still can't get his cheating out of my head!

Whenever we have sex, i cant orgasm because im always thinking that he wishes he was with her, and would be if we didn't have children together.

He says it might be because i feel unattractive because i'm a mother, so he brought me a some sex aids, but it's done nothing for me.

Does anyone know how i can get over all this? I don't wanna leave him, but it's putting a huge strain on the relationship and i don't want him to cheat again.

View related questions: cheated on me, his ex, orgasm, sex life

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009):

Relax. You took him back. It probably meant nothing to him, but he's with you. Forgive him, and move on. Unless you want to continue in misery, for him and you. Point those toes to the ceiling, and make him feel like a man. Satisfy him. Jeez: It only takes 10 minutes in most cases.:) Keep him happy, and yourself happy. The alternative is to kick the man to the curb, but you didn't do that. Let him know if it happens again, you will. Then get on with your life. Really - he was just getting his rocks off.

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A female reader, Plexi Canada +, writes (27 February 2009):

Plexi agony auntIf he really wanted to be with her and not you he would and at the very least he would make excuses to go out all the time (to be with her)and he would not be asking you for sex all the time. you 2 need to sit down and really talk about this problem until you feel you have closure, maybe even seek professional help. this is a time for both of you to spend with your sons, especially the little one not to torment yourself over a mistake he made with a terrible woman who is classless enough to do that with a family man. Yes, it might be partly because you feel unattractive(don't underestimate the power of showers, a little lipstick and brushed hair) but i do think its mostly about unresolved issues. Good luck hun, things will be ok in the long run:)

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