A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My partner cheated on me in 2007 but we got back together after 6 months, 4 of those months he was with the woman he cheated on me with.When we got back together he said that she'd meant nothing to him, that she just showed him some attention and he liked it as at the time we werent getting on. He said he only slept with her 5 or 6 times when they were together as everytime he felt like he was still cheating on me. He said he didnt get her anything for valentines and that he hardly ever saw her. He said his family didnt like her and hes told me numerous other things about their relationship. I wanted to know all about it before we got back together so that I could decide whether I could get over it or whether we should call it a day.Its now 2 years on and ive found out that all the things he told me were lies. I know I shouldnt have but when I was clearing out the spare room I found a diary of his from when he was with her and read it. It said all sorts, how she stayed at his house every single night from the day I kicked him out, how great she was in bed and how much his family adored her.I would never have got back with him if I had known then all of these things. Ive confronted him about it but he said he just wrote them things in there to make himself feel better but I know he is lying, yet I cant get him to admit to it.I dont know if I want to be with him anymore as im having trouble coming to terms with how serious they were, its one thing to think she was just some company when he was pining for me (thats what he told me) but its another to think that they were very serious.What should I do?
View related questions:
cheated on me, got back together Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): ok this is slightly tricky or very easy depending on how you are now with him.
If things are ok - then i would say "look i found this, but out of respect for us, i am going to accept it happened and its history and two years old and if catch you doing anything like this again i will cut your nuts off."
and then you move forward marvelling at the new honesty in the relationship.
or tell him the truth ask him again what happened before - but wait for him to finish and give him the book and just say sorry he lied - how can you trust him and he will say how can you go through my things how can i trust you. Then its in the open and you can start being honest again.
the thing you have to decide is the above worth it? in my view 4 months in the history or a relationship is not much time. you will know him for a lot longer. Can you forgive him if he is the one? and this is the only time.
Hugs star.x.
|
