A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok so i have kind of alot of question. i am going thru alot right now and i just want some advise if u know what i should do .. i was in a 5 year relationship and now i have 2 kids but the we were never married or living together althoug. since my kids were born she broke up with me. but we were ok and agree on me having my kids 50 percent of the time and then she would the other 50 percent. now one day she argued with me over the time that i have my kids she wanted me to have them more which i alredy do and i have no problem with that.. but we argued and she got mad and call the cops on me.. i got arrested cause she said that i pushed her when i didnt.. so now i went to jail for pushing her and thats a lie.. well thats not everything.. that happend las november and i havent been able to see my kids since then.. i dont know what i should do. i am still going to court for domestic violence when i didnt do anything. she was also arrested cause she broke my phone that same day.. but she has my kids ..
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok thaks for your advice but if i had kids with out being married was cause she didnt want to get married..
i can tell u a more about my situation..
so u can give me more advise..
since my kids were born she doesnt let me know anything about who babysits them.. when i can babysit since i work after 5 thats when she gets off work.. but the hole day someone alse watches them.. and she doenst want me to know who.. . she is not a bad person but i think she is just making the wrong choices or she doing something that someone alse is telling her.. we were fine and i been giving her money orders but everytime she wants more and more money.. now i feel used cause the only time she talks to me is when she wants me to watch my kids which i dont have a problem but i do have a problem when she only does when she wants to go out on the days she suppouse to have them. . another thing is that on my situation i been going to court and its spencive . but i dont know what to do..
i feel like the officer arrested me for no reason when i did have a witness. plus i feel it shouldnt be this way just cause she lied.. is like anyone can lie and have their way.. i dont want to do anything wrong.. or harm her in any way as in going to court and try to take my kids away from here. i just want to be able to see my kids.. i use to have my kids 4 days out of the week. and she was still complaning. that she was young and she needed more time to go out. thats another reason why this is killing me cause am sure she leaves my kids with someone alse.. but how can i prove that.. and i can go to her and try and talk to her cause since all this happend. court told me i cant come in any contact with the person . and which is why i havent been able to see my kids.. another thing is that i am on the birth certificates of my kids so i think that should help me some how ... i just want to know what to do .. . if u know what i should do please tell me.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (6 March 2010):
 I think you should talk to her first before you go to the lawyer.
Discuss with her about the children's future .It would be good if you can come to an amicable solution to that problem.
Going to the lawyers would be a costly and long drawn out affair. It could take a terrible strain on your finances and your health.
Going to the lawyers should be your last resort.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 March 2010):
Get a lawyer, take her to court. That's all you can do.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (6 March 2010):
Wow, this is what happens when you decide to have 2 kids with no solid relationship or marriage. You should have gotten two dogs- it would have been so much simpler.Buddy- you could be seriously screwed- she sounds at a minimum pissed off, at worse a nut. She's got two kids to take care of and sounds like she's feeling the pressure of being the responsible party and that she feels that you're not pulling your weight... guys can come and go, Mom's stuck with the kids kind of thing.If she's made an accusation that you hit, pushed, or whatever, then all you can do is to go tell you side to the judge. Hopefully, this will be resolved. From now on, take someone with you who can testify that you didn't do anything, and have a camera (phone) ready to record anything she does.Long story short, you have 2 kids, you need to learn how to live with this woman for the rest of those kids lives... you knocked her up, she had your children, deal with being a Dad.If she didn't get a restraining order on you and there's no legal reason you're being bared from the kids, keep paying child support (let's assume you are!) and make simple written requests to see you children. Make sure everything you write is something you are prepared to have a lawyer read aloud in court. Try to create paper trail of responsible actions in the face of a nut case. Do what you can to show you are the responsible party, and she's not. Stay out of trying to attack her, just let her go in w/o any defense.good luck, and quit knocking up women you are not married to.
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