A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was the bad girl and very promiscious from the tender age 12. By high school, it was very well-known by everyone that I slept around frequently and had a thing of going after other women's men, especially the married ones. By the end of my freshman year of high school, I had given birth to my third child and end of my senior, I had my fourth. My reputation continued into my college years and I've taken up with some men and became their mistress.They openly disapproved of my actions and never failed to comment about it. They welcomed my children although they made it no secret to me that they had hoped for them to have their father's name by me getting married.After I graduated with my Masters in Business and started working, I met my boyfriend and the love of my life there. He loves my kids and accepted me, flaws and all. We moved together after a year together and been together for five years, have had two children of our own and I quit my philandering with married men and other men unless it's purely for our recreational sex activity. We are open in our relation to a point.I was the middle child of three sisters. I would alway tell my sisters everything but as the years gone by, it was my younger sister that I could trust. Me and my older sister didn't get along well together. She knew that despite my ways I would never go after a man that belonged to the family. So when I told her about me becoming monogamous, she was so happy for me.She was getting married and we came down for a family event. Some people were skeptical about me being a one-man woman. The night before everyone went there seperate ways, my sister's fiance was found in my bedroom, naked. I had just came out of the bath when I found him and my older sister brusted in with my younger sister. It was made to look like I was the one who drugged and screwed him!My boyfriend believes me and stood up for me but my family practically disowned me now. I later found out that he was sleeping with my older sister for quite some time after his engagement to my sister and that he was still screwing around with her. How will I get my family, especially sister, to believe that I didn't sleep with my sister's man?
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female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (12 October 2009):
 This is a pickle you have found yourself in that sounds like a sketch from a horrible comedy. The problem here is that they are seeing smoke and where there is smoke there is usually fire. Unfortunately this happens to just be insense.
I dont think you can ever really convince someone of something they thought they saw. They saw you naked and him naked sprawled on your bed. The person you should actually be speaking to is her fiance. What I think would be best would be to call him and ask him to meet you and your partner(So word doesn't spread in regards to something else). Talk to him about that night and make it clear that nothing had happened between you and he and if he had any notions about what happened or how he had gotten into your bed. If you can convince him, he can be the voice of reason to your sister. Another option is to get a polygraph test. Pass this and I am sure she will not anylonger have an issue. As much as I think it is pseudoscience the majority of the population doesn't. I think the gesture as well will ring more to her than the results.
Your sexual past may not have helped at all, but your sister should know from past experience with her and boyfriends that those with her were off limits. She should know better. Why would you start now? Even when you were enjoying a free sex life, you could have tried it on with your sisters partners easily. Now that you are in a lasting relationship, why would you suddenly decide to do away with your personal limits? It doesn't make sense.
To be honest she has a very low opinion of you and even though she is family and I know you wish only love from her, you were never really going to get unconditional love from her. Unconditional love would mean she would talk to you after this. Yet she has "forgiven" her boyfriend. Even if you mend and patch up this situation she is always going to have you at arms legnth.
Hope this helps
HonningKanin
A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (12 October 2009):
 Well, there's only one other person who can tell the truth, isn't there? Him.
And what's this about him being drugged????
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A
female
reader, Aunt Shelley +, writes (12 October 2009):
thats what my family was like with me never believe what i said because of stupid things i said and done, but inthe end i proved myself by doing things like getting a good job, but in this situation it is hard, just explaint o your sister that you love her and that you wouldnt do that to her even though you have your past doesnt every one! your family need to learn that you can be truthful and that you aint the spiteful. There come round eventually if they ignore you then just carry on with your life cause it nots you who has done something wrong and they need to get to know that!
love Aunt Shelley
x
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