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female
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anonymous
writes: I mentioned to my ex about reconciling..he said he can't just jump back into things which is fine..and also that we'll talk on the phone and then meet...its been almost 2 months of talking which is fine but i'm getting nervous about what if he loses interest b/c there is only so much to talk abouthe also mentioned being at his apartment and how he watched one minute of tv and fell asleep sat. night and i said well there was probably nothing good on..and he said probably not it was 4am(which shows he did go out that night)..i responded regular/maybe a little sad by just saying oh really? or oh ok..i dont remember exactly..he mentioned getting up around 11 or 12....i dont want to sound jealous but its hard to be completely indifferent to him going out or excited about it b/c we havent met up yet and i'm worried he can meet some great girl or just simply get bored talking on the phone...i didn't ask him where did u go or anything but i did ask did you enjoy your weekend? (after him mentioning 4am)..and he simply said did i enjoy it? it just sort of flew by, nothing speciali hope i didnt sound jealous but i was trying to be as normal as i could about it...we still spoke for about 15-20 minutes longer so if i sounded bad about he probably would have got of the phone sooner right? i also didnt mention things any further..i only said about 10 minutes later "the weekend went by too fast" to kind of show im not trying to ask him questions but just casually talk about the weekend i guessis it wrong the way i responded? i dont think i said anything too bad but now i am second guessing myself..it would have been obviously jealous if i asked where did u go, who did u go with or why 4am-u were out or something? I didnt sound happy about the 4am--just kind of regular/sad (hard to explain i guess)
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female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (12 October 2009):
 I think you can only be the way you are. I would have come over as a bit dispondent at the 4am business too but at least you did not ask outright where he had been. In these situations it is best to remain upbeat if you can. Make light small talk type conversation, sound very confident and happy in your own life and tell them things you have been doing. Never come across as if you have been doing nothing but thinking about them and lying on the settee watching telly, ( even if you have been) tell them you have been out with your friends, shopping playing sport or whatever, anything to make you look more interesting and so it makes it clear to them that you are not relying on them for your happiness. You haven't blown it in any way just don't always be there when he calls, being a bit unavailable keeps the interest going and then turns the tables and makes them wonder what you are up to. You are doing fine so just carry on as you are and all will work out. xx
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