A
male
age
22-25,
*orge
writes:Hello DC! Back again.So, this is something I may or may not have brushed on before, but... How the heck can I get my exes to get off my back?There's the first girl, she's "girl 1." She is VERY clingy and won't leave me alone, because I've been the only guy that was good to her. And that's completely her fault. Long story.She also has a shirt of mine from when we went on a date. I took it off because I was hot (it was an overshirt) and she carried it in her bag... and once in a while I see her wearing it around school. I like that shirt and she won't give it back :/ I mean that by "Hey can I have my shirt back?" And she just laughs and walks off.The other girl, "girl 2," was a lying cheat to me the entire time we were together. I broke up with her because I was tired of feeling like garbage. Now, she walks up to me and has told me she still likes me and wants to be with me.Her reason for cheating and all that was "she had a lot going on and she has a tendency to push people she cares about away from herself." I guess she shouldn't have pushed me away, because I have told her (word for word!) "You pushed me away and I'm staying away because all you do is lie."How do I get them away from me? Girl #1 likes to "put in a good word" to other girls, but then says that "I'm the worst person ever" once I'm with someone.Girl #2... hasn't had a chance to screw me over because I haven't dated anyone since her a few months ago.So then, can I get them away from me? I want to be able to date freely and not get told how I'm such a bad guy and mess things up with the next girl.-Førg€
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female
reader, Midnight Shadow  +, writes (7 February 2015):
 I agree with WiseOwlE; you thought you were old enough to date her against her mum's wishes, so now you're going to have to be "old enough" to own up, if you want your shirt back. If it means so much to you (I can understand why), then you shouldn't have been so reckless with it.
If say visit the mother, if possible, explain that her daughter has your treasured shirt that your grandma gave you before she passed away and you really want it back, but her daughter won't give it to you when you ask. Be very polite and you may have to say you are sorry to have disrespected her by dating her daughter. Either way, there's only a 50/50 chance you'll get your shirt back, but you have to go through her mum to attempt it.
Lesson learned the hard way, I think :/
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2015): Well, Forge, if the shirt means so much to you; why did you so carelessly leave it with her? Why did you go out on a date when you know you were allowed to?
Well, the loss of the shirt will bring out all the truth you've been hiding. Won't it?
I guess if you want the shirt back bad enough, you'll have to confess; and ask her mother to let you have the shirt back. You can ask her younger brother, but I guarantee she will hold on to it all the same. He's not going to rat-out his sister for you!
Tough luck, kid! You tried to be a sneak, now figure out how to fix it.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 February 2015):
 Ask her younger brother to get your shirt for you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 February 2015):
 So if you can't call her mom, you pull this girl aside at school NEXT time she wears it and tell her,:" I NEED my shirt back, it has meaning to ME because my grandmother gave it to me before she died."
And honestly I wouldn't CARE if her mother don't know about the dating. Maybe just telling her, well if you won't give me the shirt I'll go straight to your mom and ask for it back...
IF that doesn't help, I think you are SOL.
You are doing all these "grown up things" such as dating, TIME to assert yourself like an "adult".
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A
male
reader, Forge +, writes (7 February 2015):
Forge is verified as being by the original poster of the question @Honeypie: Right, I can't call #1's mom because her mom didn't know we dated. She also didn't know we went on a date to begin with. I went with her aunt and younger brother. So calling her mom is out of the picture.
@WiseOwlE: I'm not just going to get 'another shirt' specifically because it's the only NICE shirt I've owned, and it was a gift from my grandma before she passed away. I need it back, but she just refuses.
-Førg€
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2015): Hello, Forge!
Even if you went to the girl's mom, she could always say you gave it to her as a gift. That would make you look like a spiteful boyfriend, demanding back a present. I'd say, just let her keep it. Get another one.
Her mother may not like the fact you took off your shirt, even an over-shirt, in-front of her daughter. How would she know it was an over-shirt? You're a boy, and a mom would believe their daughter before they'd believe you!
The other girl who bad mouth's you, does it because she thinks by doing so it will keep other girls from liking you. That could also make you more interesting and they will want to see if you're the "bad-boy" she claims you are. Trust me, if a girl thinks you're cute; there isn't much any other girl can say that will stop her from liking you. Not even her own parents! By the way, don't take that the wrong way. You know what I mean, you're a smart kid!
They are holding on to your attention by annoying you. When you simply ignore them and go about your business, and just be polite when you're around them; people will see they're the ones who are annoying you. Not the other way around.
As always, behave yourself!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 February 2015):
CALL girl#1 parents, ask her mom when you can come by to pick up your shirt. TOTALLY exclude this girl from the whole shirt business, go STRAIGHT to the source (aka the MOM) Explain that "girl#1" had it in her pack and when you asked for it at school he refused to give it back, but YOU want your shirt. Do it in a polite way. If the mom has any sense she will find the shirt and let you know when to pick it up.
After you get your shirt back, IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE. If they text, don't reply. If they call don't answer - IF you can find a block number app for your phone, USE it. If they come up to you between classes don't include them in the conversation or simply WALK away (they can't follow you into the guy's bathroom) though... don't HIDE from them. Sooner or later they will tire of chasing you around.
For whatever reason I think you are trying to be nice/polite and thus talk to them, and THEY see you giving an inch and they want a mile. SO you need to just CUT them off.
You can date whomever you want, these girls shouldn't have that kind of power over you. So DO GIVE them that power.
And honestly, if a girl believes #1 she ISN'T worth dating.
Or simply... TAKE a wee break from dating all together it seems more like a series of mini-dramas for you. (which might be VERY common for your age group)
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