A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok this is a stupid question but I need as many suggestions as possible.My boyfriend always plays with my hair and I need him to stop. He does it without thinking, in the car, in his sleep, laying in his arms watching tv, at the cinema, sitting talking etc. To begin with it really didn’t bother me but the thing is when he does it he often creates knots and then ends up having to pull them out (he does it gently) and per day he pulls out anything from 5 to 20 knots and of course strands of hair naturally fallout from someone using their fingers to brush through your hair.My problem is my hair is now so thin and uneven. I know you may think this is stupid but I’ve been with him now for 11 months and 11 months ago I had long red thick curly hair and now I don’t. To begin with the right side is the side he touches most and thanks to that the right side of my head is almost 2 inches shorter than the left (my hair is layered) and also it’s twice as thin as the left side and it is noticeable. My mother keeps telling me I look like I’m going bald. And having said that the left side is noticeably thinner too.I love my hair. My hair happens to be the one thing about me that I like too. I’m not a very confident person and I am very insecure as I am over-weight so he is slowly destroying the one thing I like about myself. I have told him this but he still does it not thinking and also because he likes me for who I am thinks it’s a silly point to have. I have tried putting my hair into a tight bobble but he pulls it out, I’ve put on a hat which he just takes it off and cutting my hair short is not an option…first of all I do not suit short hair and secondly my hair has been cut short twice when I was younger to which I cried both times and said I would never allow that to happen again.So having said all that any suggestions as to how I can get him to stop?
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (17 November 2012):
Touching is a form of endearment you dont really want to suppress, maybe get him to touch you somewhere else. You could shorten your hair to let it recover, use loads of conditioner to reduce the knots, and tie it up so his fingers dont get stuck in it. I love running my fingers through long hair, especially when the girl is on top. So dont get angry just find a practical solution to your problem!!
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (16 November 2012):
 I have long wavy/curly hair too and my boyfriend is NOT allowed to play with it or it gets frizzy and tangled. He doesn't remember very well when I tell him, so I just grab his wrists and move his hands away when he tries. Not a big deal. Just move his hands away and smile in that, "nope, not happening" way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2012): this may be a silly suggestion but it sounds to me like he would have to be literally yanking your hair out by fistfuls for it to be that noticeable a change. therefore, perhaps the problem is that your hair is 'weak' that it comes out so easily just from someone absentmindedly toying with it, and maybe you should look into medical treatment for that?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2012): Some people have a problem with pulling out hair sometimes their own sometimes other peoples in this case! The only thing i can think of is to tell him to stop it when he is in the act and physically take his hand away. Surely he can understand why you dont want him to pull out your hair, does he want u to be bald!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 November 2012):
 we normally lose about 100 hairs a day the longer the hair the more noticable it is...
put a rubber band on his wrist. every time he touches your head tell him NO and snap the rubber band... Since you don't think you are worthy of NO MEANS NO you will have to train him like a puppy....
seriously my husband loves to rub a particular body part in a particular fashion... it drives me NUTS... what do I do? I SMACK his hand away and say "don't do that" he keeps trying.... and i keep smacking.... eventually he gets the message and stops...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2012): OP why are you being so flaky?
He touches it, pull his hand away hard stay very clearly don't do that.
It's really as simple as that.
He doesn't do it not thinking OP, you have to make a conscious effort to take out a bobble or take off a hat.
Stop being so timid, he's only doing this because you're too afraid to stop him, I mean come on he's pretty much pulling your hair out and for some reason you won't stop him. OP your hair is falling out because of you, not him, we guys will do whatever we please to you if you don't have the balls to stop us. he'll learn pretty damn quickly not to do it if you show some backbone for a change. Or you could just do nothing and let your hair, your confidence get fucked and perhaps even resent him for ruining it.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 November 2012):
 If he wont take any notice of your requests for him to stop start a shower cap when you are near him .... or, whenever he starts yell "STOP" if he wont stop then move away from him, you need to retrain him from this bad habit, it should only take three or so weeks.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2012): Do not sleep with him. Do not sit next to him anywhere, in the car or in a restaurant. If you must sit next to him, have him wear a rubber band around his wrist. If he starts to handle your hair, snap the rubber band to alert him. Or have him wear gloves.
Tell him he needs to seek treatment for what seems to be an obsessive compulsive type of disorder.
Or simply shout "STOP!" whenever he puts his hands near your hair.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2012): You really won't be able to unless you physically stop him each time he does it. He is doing it without thinking so you have to make him think about it. Unless he grows his own hair out I don't think he'll stop.
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A
female
reader, Zaaleena +, writes (15 November 2012):
Maybe when he starts doing it grab his hand and hold it?
I know this maybe a stupid question but have you asked him to stop doing it?
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