A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years keeps accusing me of cheating. I have never had a sexual relationship outside of our relationship. He is always saying that sometimes I am significantly tighter than others. I tell him that its because I am tightening my muscles but he does not believe me. He has made negative comments about how sometimes he does not feel anything. First time he said it was months after I delivered our son, but the comments keep coming even 19 months after delivery. What gives? I have not cheated on him, so what can be making me feel different to him?! Is he just being mean? I notice that when I am realtime turned on and I get him really hard it is more pleasureable to both of us. Could that be the answer right there? How do I get him to stop making this horrible comments and accusations of me sleeping around?
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (8 August 2012):
I dated a woman once who was divorced because of her husband cheating on her. It was hell - she was always demanding I had my phone with me at all times, and would always answer. She demanded it as "transparancy" in the relationship, which really translated to "lack of trust." I told her I would not be in a relationship with no trust, and if she kept it up Id leave. She kept it up, I left.
A year or so later, we spoke again. She told me she was with a guy who was doing the same thing to her that she did to me and it was driving her crazy. She told me she was sorry for what she did and that things turned out different. In the end, its something that can destroy a relationship if not curtailed quickly.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your responses! @bondgirl72 it has effected my desire to have intimacy with him. There are times when he tells me I feel amazing and all is good. I hear you all loud and clear. It's just hard to walk away. I do have a therapist and he is helping to empower me with whatever decision I make. I have been snooping and have come up with nothing. No emails, phone # text......nothing!! I am still on the lookout.
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A
female
reader, demeplev +, writes (7 August 2012):
 Excellent Xearo!! yes yes yes that slapped me right in the face...HE IS CHEATING, the guilt is projected onto you...classic...so sorry.
He is not very nice, you cant make him be nice or non hurtful but YOU have the power to take his son and LEAVE. Trust me you and your son deserve to be treated with love and respect.
Don't give him a clue and start sniffing out the lying cheater that I am pretty sure he is. Sounds like he wasnt ready to be a daddy nor a husband nor your boyfriend.
This is a hard time for you but get the truth get a backbone your a mom now and do whats best for you and your son. Enlist support from family and friends possibly a therapist and try to piece together a happy loving future for the both of you, your young and believe me coming from an old fart there are soooo many fish in the sea when you look back youll wonder why you stayed with a contaminated jelly fish when their are much more beautiful fish in the ocean! I wish you lots of luck, please keep us posted!. Sorry if I was harsh. Peace and love. Your in my prayers.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (7 August 2012):
He does this because your husband is probably the one cheating. You should snoop around.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (7 August 2012):
 What your boyfriend is doing is insulting and disrespectful and will eventually be detrimental to your well-being if you do not get away from it. To have a man comment on how he doesn't feel anything and/or your genitalia is not good enough is pretty low. I am not sure how you stand to have sex with him after such repeated blows and attacks. He is demeaning you and you don't even realize it. Yes, he is being mean. Yes, he is demeaning. Yes, you should leave him. I know you did not ask whether you should leave him, but what he is saying is hateful and belittling.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 August 2012):
 You've got yourself a childish, immature and insecure guy for a partner..... and father for your child...
Unfortunately, IF HE doesn't grow up and figure out that that is destructive behaviour, then YOU will have to take control and do the only thing that you can.... and leave him..... Sorry.
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (7 August 2012):
 I hope he not being mean cause we all want to satisfy our lover and be satisfied maybe he not use to the goods after you having baby could be intimidating to some men that think they can't be satisfied after children birth its psychological really i suggest you talk alot about it cause it's so horrible like torture to be in relationship and love making is not suffice for any partner
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (7 August 2012):
 He has self issues, is insecure, jealous and distrustful of you... trust is basis for a healthy relationship , maybe you should suggest he goes to have counsilling to work on these issues because its ruining your relationship.
Goodluck.
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