A
female
age
30-35,
*amShaw
writes:I know this is going to sound quite strange, but is there anyway to gain self confidence in bed?. That doesn't include anything drastic.As, i've only recently came to grips with my body (like i'm no longer that interested in loosing weight or anything like that), but when it comes to having sex with my bf I can't even bring myself round get on top, (partially because i've never been on top before) but mainly because i don't want him to see everything, move!! I'm not so bothered about my boobs, cause he loves them but everything else, i don't really think the view of my stomach going about would be that much of a turn on.. Any tips?I wan't to be able to do the different positions because i don't want him to get bored..
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (11 September 2012):
 You're very welcome. Hope it helps.
One last thought...you coulld also wear some kind of lingerie.Nothing too tight and skimpy of course, but form flattering and not too long. It would break up the visual line making extra weight a little less noticeable.
A
female
reader, SamShaw +, writes (10 September 2012):
SamShaw is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks ladies.. :D
I'll have a think about what you've all said.. :)
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A
female
reader, LoveIsSweet  +, writes (10 September 2012):
Well, I went through a similar situation. I gained a lil bit of weight and now have this pudge in my belly and it caused me to lose confidence as well. I wouldn't want to be on top bc I thought he wouldnt like the view but Ive learned that a man is probably gonna be looking at your boobs rather than your belly!! If you think it's that disgusting, just lose weight and do crunches, at least that's what I did bc I grew tired of feeling uncomfortable on top or getting completely naked!
Let me tell you, losing a lil bit of weight really was a confidence booster, but until then wear a tank top or something and just expose your boobs!! And if he takes of your tank top, and the sex gets good he's gonna rip the shirt off and isn't gonna be thinking bout your belly!!
Sometimes I would say whatever and get on top anyway, just closed my eyes and made sure it was good to him!! After he moans and shakes your somach will be the last thing on his mind. Try the reverse cowgirl position, especially if you have a nice bottom!!
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (10 September 2012):
Well, if you're that anxious about it you could straddle him on a chair. That way you're on top but too close for him to really see anything. You could also try 'sitting' in his lap. Like straddling him except you're facing away from him as though you really were just sitting in his lap.
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A
female
reader, SamShaw +, writes (10 September 2012):
SamShaw is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers ladies..
Yes, i'm the same size as we were when we got together.
Im also quite short and heavy set.. Im 5'1 and 12 stones.
This is the first bf i've had in years.. Since the last serious relationship i had kind of left me down in the dumps, in pretty every way possible, but only recently have i started gaining my confidence in every other way.. (which probably led to me getting this bf).
The previous times we've had sex it has been in the dark, so lighting isn't that much of a problem, but i still know that he's going to be able to see it all..
Another thing is, from a fast weight gain a couple years back, my stomach is covered in stretch marks, although these are starting to go away, i think they are repulsive..
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (10 September 2012):
You're anxious about being on top because you don't want to turn your boyfriend off with the view. Ok. Have you actually seen this view yourself or are you just assuming the worst?
Straddle a pile of pillows or clothes or something on your bed, hold a mirror where your boyfriend's head would be and have a look for yourself. Before you do, picture a much heavier, out of shape body than your own. Then open your eyes and try to look at yours more objectively.Iit might not be as bad as you think.
Remember if and when you muster up the courage to try it, you don't have to move so vigorously that everything jiggles. Being on top can be sensual if you move more slowly and once there you don't have to stay there. You can always change position whenever you like, building up courage each time.
Dim lighting helps too.
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A
female
reader, ktmae +, writes (10 September 2012):
 Has he ssid something about your weight ? Did you look this way when you two started seeing each other? I used to have problems with the way i look . I am heavy set and kinda short but i slowly gained confidence in myself. One thing you could try is games . They can actually be a great way to get to know each other even more . They bring new possitions into your sex life and some times its so crazy you laugh because you know there is no way you can do that and then you try anyways kinda like twister lol. All sex games are different . But can be fun to try . And if your bf doesnt haveva problem with the way you look then i think this would help you get comfortable with yourself . If he has a problem with the way you are then he needs to either be more supportive and help and love you they way you are or get down the road somewhere . Keep your head up because i am sure you are beautifull .
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