A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I dated for 2 1/2 years and broke up 2 months ago, we are now back together. While broken up she had sex with some guy she dated, and I went down on some girl but nothing serious. I know its none of my business what happened while we were broken up, but it still bothers me. The only reason I know she has done this and she knows what I've done is because we decided to get everything out in the open before we got back together. She says her main reason for doing so was to help forget about me. What is the best way to shake the annoying feeling?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): Hey, you also had sex with someone else. And there is no difference if a woman or a man have sex with someone else. I was in the same situation and I felt bad about her having had sex with another man when we were separated, but I did the same. If you want to continue your relationship with her, try to think of the man she had sex with as the rebound man. Nothing serious, just like how you felt with the woman you had sex with.
A
male
reader, Sharmzy +, writes (22 December 2009):
If this is going to get in the way of your relationship its better not to be in one. its going to make you a very uneasy man. trust me i've been there. unless you can brush this off of your mind and deal with it, theres always going to be this annoying nagging feeling at the back of your head.
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A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (22 December 2009):
 Well you're right, what happens when two people decide to split is neither's business.
But I am a little fazed by 'I went down on some girl but nothing serious'. Whoooaaa! I thought that going down on a woman was considered reasonably intimate. It sounds like these days, people go down on complete strangers after a couple of drinks. I should get out more.
If this girl meant nothing to you, why get so close? I know that your girlfriend had sex with 'some guy she dated', but don't underestimate how SHE feels about what YOU did. It seems that you feel that she done something a lot worse than you. My opinion is that you are both as bad as each other, and you both have some growing up to do.
I'm fairly certain that people don't have sex to 'forget' about a former partner.
Would you feel better if your girl had given this guy a blow job instead? Would it have been 'nothing serious' in your mind, like when you done the equivalent? You have to consider how she feels about what you did, before you judge her actions.
If you both are sincere about a future together, you have to learn from your mistakes. Whatever you broke up for, make sure that it will not happen again. Your girlfriend had sex with that guy because she wanted to. But try not to imagine how she did it, or if she enjoyed it or any kind of comparison. She went away, but has come back to you. She is with you now, today. Make the most of it.
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A
male
reader, AntPain +, writes (22 December 2009):
Think of it this way....if she did that in 2months then he was obviously just the rebound guy and nothing special to her. Especially if she then got back with you.
She obviously didnt care about him like you didnt care about this other girl.
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A
male
reader, activeplay +, writes (22 December 2009):
 Yo bud, I am in a similar boat! Its hard to forget, but either way you look at it, you had sex as well. They don't call it oral *sex* for nothing. But still yet you didn't have intercourse I absolutely understand that. Move on, its the past. You was not with her then, but you are now. Carpe Diem! The only thing worse than sadness is regret.
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A
male
reader, activeplay +, writes (22 December 2009):
Yo bud, I am in a similar boat! Its hard to forget, but either way you look at it, you had sex as well. They don't call it oral *sex* for nothing. But still yet you didn't have intercourse I absolutely understand that. Move on, its the past. You was not with her then, but you are now. Carpe Diem! The only thing worse than sadness is regret.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): You need to remember that you were "broken" up at that point. She was with another guy and you were with another girl, but she is with you now and she clearly trusts and loves you enough to let you know what went on while you weren't together. You need to remember that she is with you and leave the past in the past.
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