A
female
age
30-35,
*iobhanKay_x
writes:hi,im 16 and female.i was pregnant 4 months ago but i had a still birthi developed an eating disorderthe only thing i cling to is my beloved boyfriend weve been together 2 years and he asked me to marry him on valentines day.i know were youngwell he's 18but still really youngbut i feel that i love him and we've been through so much. yesterday he announced he doesnt know if he wants to be with me anymore. he said he doesnt know what he wants that his head is messed up. that he loves me but doesnt know if he wants a relationship because he feels trapped. he said he's been feeling like his for the last 2 months. He has been taking anit depressants for the last 5 months but has been missing a few now and thenim so devistated.how can i fix our reletionship? how can i help him see what he wants?
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female
reader, sandra laguere  +, writes (5 March 2009):
You should think about yourself right know because you have a baby on the way, no time to stress!
A
male
reader, gumbbo +, writes (18 February 2009):
I don't think he stopped loving you within 3 days. He probably will always love you, you were his first love, you only get one first love. Maybe he will look back and wonder "what if" by then you will have had many other flings, relationships probably had your heart broken and broken a few yourself. But he is 18, his life has only just began. Only a stupid man would not want to experience life a little before settling down, he probably isn't stupid. I bet he's really confused y'know. I really sorry for him, i wouldn't want to be in his shoes. But he needs time to become a man. Who knows one day you will meet in many years to come and get back together. Till then look fwd to a bright future full of new experiences, you are young and free. When you have children you have to give up your life, how's about letting it begin first?
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A
female
reader, SiobhanKay_x +, writes (18 February 2009):
SiobhanKay_x is verified as being by the original poster of the question not really no.when he proped i told him it would be at least a7 or 8 year engagment.he was fine with itwhere did it go so wrong within 3 days? did he stop loving me within 3 days?:'(
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A
male
reader, Ed1337 +, writes (18 February 2009):
 Yeah I bet you are confused, one moment he tells you he doesn't know if he wants a relationship and now hes asking you for another baby.
It sounds like his head is a bit messed up at the moment and he doesn't know what he wants, I would give him some space until he knows for sure, otherwise hes going to keep messing you around, making you go from high to low back to high again and then low. Just tell him you need some space to think things over, do you even want a baby at 16 or to get married?
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A
female
reader, SiobhanKay_x +, writes (18 February 2009):
SiobhanKay_x is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes he did buy a ring. i tryed to give it back but he said i have to keep it
he aslso asked me for another baby this mornign :'( im so confused and hurt
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A
male
reader, gumbbo +, writes (18 February 2009):
You are 16, do you realise the great life you can have if you want it? Maybe he has, he is only 18, he's probably been to a nightclub recently and seen what else is on offer, and wondered why on earth he wanted to for go it all. He and you have years or relationships, happiness, sadness and everything between, you are so lucky!
To answer your question. "how can i fix our relationship? how can i help him see what he wants"
You can help him see anything, he's been looking for two years, though he saw it but now has changed his mind. He's just a kid, when you are 25 you will remember him and laugh that you ever thought an 18 year old boy new what he wanted or could be helped to see it. These are the years where you learn about yourself and what you want, know one can make you see anything, (regarding 18 year old boy) esp not sense!
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A
male
reader, Ed1337 +, writes (18 February 2009):
You can't really help him see what he wants, its something he needs to work out on his own really. Did he actually buy you a ring when he asked you to marry him? if not, maybe he got carried away with the whole valentines day thing and now thinks he is too young to get married, but won't admit it and tell you.
Maybe you should tell him that you don't think its a good idea to get married yet and you should wait a bit longer. Hopefully this won't make him feel so trapped.
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