A
female
age
41-50,
*9agegap
writes:Hi, I've known T since beginning of Sep. He first asked me out on a group date beginning of Oct, and since then our dates become more and more frequent. He invited me to his company's dinner and dance as his plus one where he kissed me. Since then, we've been spending almost everyday together - dinner, movies etc. We've also been intimate physically and he's all sweet and always wanting to see me. The question is, I do not know if we are a couple. He's not asked me to be his girlfriend yet, and I do not want to be aggressive and scare him away. Though we behave like a couple now - see each other every day, hold hands in public etc. Can I know how best to find out what he plans to do with us, whether we're in a relationship etc? I'm looking for potentially a serious relationship. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 November 2009):
Men tend to respond to direct questions. Ask him where he sees the relationship going and whether he'd like to be exclusive. You'll get your answer
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 November 2009):
 "T, I love spending time with you! You are a special man. I'm feeling like I need to ask you what the next phase might be and if we are reaching it. I eventually want an exclusive relationship and I think 'eventually' seems to be arriving for me, well, sooner because of you. What do you think? Are you also looking to be a part of an official couple?"
That's my best shot at this sticky and delicate question right now. Maybe I'll come up with something better, or another aunt will write something that works really well for you!
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (10 November 2009):
If he likes you, you can't scare him away. Just ask him! Say, "Hey, T. We've been spending a lot time together, and just so I know that we're on the same page, are we exclusive?" Not every guy asks you to be his girlfriend, some think it's rather juvenile and assume you would know...and they say we (women) expect men to be mind readers.
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