A
female
age
36-40,
*itch-fire
writes:Hi.You may have guessed by now that I don't have the best luck in men. Five have been gay and the rest are just to horrible to speak about. Right... I've met this really nice guy at university. We're both in our early 20s and as far as I know we're both single. He's not the most attractive of guys but there's something about him that I find very attractive. We both get into uni early and chat and discuss homework. I really want to ask him out but not sure how he would respond or if he feels the same way. Is there any way of finding out these things without getting hurt? I'm not the only girl he hangs out with either so that holds me back even though I've found out one girl who sticks by him actually has a boyfriend and she calls the guy I like her friend. I know this is a petty issue, but I need help. I don't want to go through another year going through 'what ifs'!
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female
reader, witch-fire +, writes (18 September 2009):
witch-fire is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi,
Well more details.... I'm still working on the girlfiend issue. Although thanks to facebook hunting- the girl I thought was a maybe is now a definate no. I am friends with her too so a bit relieved that she's not competition.
I get the impression he is shy and today in a lecture hall I saw him talk to a friend and then this friend looked directly at me. Not sure what to think of that.
Do you reckon waiting till I know more is the best option?
In a couple of weeks we are in differing groups to go down to london. I keep getting paranoid that he'll get with someone on the trip and I'll miss my chance. But I'm scared to say anything just in case I'm reading the signals wrong.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009): It's difficult to answer your question without more details. Do you know if he's had a girlfriend before? Does he seem like a guy who is comfortable talking about relationships and feelings? If so, then I think that he would probably ask he was interested in you and you gave the indication that you're single and interested in you.If he's shy, then you should probably say something. I'm pretty shy, and I usually hide if I'm attracted to a girl because of many of the same reasons you mentioned, except applied to the girl. In that case, though, nothing will happen if neither person will say anything.I know I'm probably not the best one to be answering since I often find myself in the same dilemma, but what I've learned is that if you don't say anything, then it never happens. So if you want to give it a try, I think you should ask him. I'm shy and I'd be really nice to any girl who was brave enough to say that regardless of my own feelings, so I don't think you should let your fears hold you back. Good luk.
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