A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunties and uncles, I know this is silly but I need to figure out a way to explain to my new partner how unsatisfactory sex with him is.everything is in shambles, we being dating for 3 months and have only had sexual intercourse 2 times so far and it wasn’t good, first time I put it down to nerves so I chose not to think about it too much and just give him a second chance, so when I left his place the last time I was a little frustrated and to be honest I was also pissed off. He did notes I was acting different, I didn't want my mood to show because I didn't want to make him feel bad, but it did. so he kept asking me what is wrong, but I had not yet rationalised my emotions, and I still haven't figure out a way to telling him.well here it goes, when we are having sex he has a routine he needs either a hand job or head to get off because otherwise he comes too quick, several minutes later he will be ready to go again, still won't last very long, but there won't be a 3rd round. foreplay is pretty basic he will either stick to kissing and graving my buttock or he will be redirecting my hands to where he wants them to be, I have tried that also, tried to show him how to touch me etc.I would like to be able to talk to him about it yet no matter how much I think about it I can't find a way to make this easier to hear. Criticism is difficult thing to face and I know this is a big deal for men.I know a lot of people might think bad sex is a deal breaker and maybe we are just not compatible but I don't think that is what it is, it's not a lack of compatibility, he just seems to have no clue what he is doing. And I seem to believe that if I explain it to him in a good way he might change and get better in bed or at least be more receptive.Please share your opinions I welcome them all, thank you.
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female
reader, Amycoffeegirl +, writes (21 September 2015):
Have you ever tried to guide you bf to how it feels good for you? There are times that I have changed positions, a little at a time, to get to the position that makes things feel best for me. Or there have been times I have moved my bf's hand to a slightly different spot. We didn't stop what we were doing, we didn't talk, just shifted our positions to make things better.
A
male
reader, ignorant_gringo +, writes (19 September 2015):
Some guys think women who know what they want are hot.
Encourage him with the lovely cooing sounds women make when their needs are addressed. That isn't criticism, you'd be letting him know how well he's doing. Invite/encourage him to eat you out. If he gets you off a couple times that way first are you really going to begrudge him how quickly he comes? Besides, you may be making him anxious. Have a few sessions of fun exploring and he may start to calm down and take it slow.
Long story short, sex is sharing and he should reciprocate your attention. If you encourage instead of criticize (make it about play and sharing) and he is still screwing like a dog, that's all he's got. Take him or leave him at that point.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2015): Best time to tell him what you like is when you are making love. Just tell him what turns you on and ask him to do those things, and tell him that you wish if he can prolong the sex, and ask him if he knows any way to do that. Between you and me I think masturbating for too long has made him to respond only to hand jobs and also prone to premature ejaculation.Just talk to him and if he doesn't want to change, well, kick his ass.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2015): Given your age it seems he may just be selfish, while maybe not the time to be blunt, it is probably time to atleast stop letting him get off without putting any effort in to helping you out. Once he starts moving your hands move them away and tell him what you want then let him move them, if he doesnt do as you ask then stop.
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