A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend and I usually spend every night together and most of the day. This just works well for us. It's been going on for 8 months now and we haven't gotten tired of it. We both agree that we have something wonderful and special and are deeply in love. It's honestly one of those movie romances that's so perfect you think it can't be real. We routinely talk about how we want to spend our lives together. Here's the thing. He just got back from a month long trip for a language class. We were thrilled to be back together, but he had to work a lot to finish some papers and such and was stressed and busy. Now normally it's not unusual for us to spend a night or two here and there with friends, and we definitely make time apart for friends. He finally had a weekend free of any work and so did I and we had planned the whole thing to be a relaxing romantic weekend at home together and were both excited for it. Just tonight he casually threw in that he was spending the following evening with his class, going over to one of the girl's apartments with some other girls and some of the guys to drink. Normally I wouldn't mind, but for some reason my stomach just twisted into knots and my heart just about stopped. I felt insanely clingy and hurt. We didn't officially plan the weekend, just excitedly talked about how much fun it would be to just relax together so it wasn't like he was really backing down on plans. I don't want to invite myself along or try to make him not go, but I feel weird with him going drinking with a bunch of cute single girls in someone's apartment and that it didn't occur to him to invite me until I made him feel slightly guilty and even then it was a tentative invitation and I felt terrible for pushing. What can I do without seeming clingy or insecure even though that's what I'm seriously feeling now?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 September 2009):
Call some of those girlfriends of yours and have a good time. If you sit at home, you'll only worry more! He's not backed away from your plans or anything. Maybe even have hom invite some of his friends over so you can meet them? That might help. x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): i know how u feel i used to be like that as well. time apart is great for the relationship trust me. but u are right to worry. if he felt uncomfortable to bring u along then u should ask him why. tell him you dont like the idea of him being around girls you or him don't entirely know. if you and your boyfriend live together you could also suggest that him and his new friends go over their notes and have a drink at your place. if he agrees at least you can watch for what is going on with him and the other girls. you would also get to know those other girls and it would be an excuse for you to be around. it my also help your worries. good luck xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): I really think that some time alone is great for a relationship but I can completely understand how you could feel hurt that you were not invited. My suggestion to you it NOT to sit home waiting for him. Let him realise that if he can have a life out there ... then so can you. Call some girls and get on out there! You are young... there is no need to sit home wondering if your man is thinking about you or looking at other girls... GET OUT THERE... Break a leg!! Good luck xx
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