A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend and have been with him for 4.5 years and for the past week we have been fighting a lot over nothing, i have recently been feeling attracted to another guy who also has a girlfriend, i know he is also attracted to me because he is always flirting with me, cuddling me, and telling people we are an item (as a joke). I like him alot, we are very flirtatious together and a lot of people are noticing, it is extremely hard not to be flirtatious with him, because he is constantly flirting with me and i seem to do it sub consiously. I am so confused and i cant sort out my feelings, i feel i need to get over this guy but i dont know how to... i know i want to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend BUT he is the only boyfriend i have had... i feel so guilt ridden for liking this boy because he has a girlfriend and i have a boyfriend, and i dont want to hurt anyone because dont handle guilt very well, what do i do? how do i get over this guy? Should i tell my boyfriend? Should i talk to this boy?
View related questions:
crush, flirt, has a girlfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, lovelynightmare  +, writes (3 February 2009):
 Tell him very strongly for a friendship to work that you should just be friends.And only then if his status changes to single can he ever do those romantic things with you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthats true lovelynightmare... i have tried to keep that in mind, im not going to do anything with him... but its hard to ignore him because we are friends... does this mean we are not allowed to hang out anymore? and also do you think one a cheater always a cheater? or can people change. He is the only person at the moment that makes me feel good...
...............................
A
male
reader, lovelynightmare +, writes (28 January 2009):
For now, just don't fall for that guy. Say you started dating him, and he finds some other girl (just like he is now) to flirt with and be all mushy-mushy with. Not a pretty picture. If he cheats on his current g/f, who is to say you wouldn't be cheated on if he dated you.
As for your BF, I am somewhat stumped along with you. I can't act like I have all the answers every time, and admit this is a hard one. Maybe just try to be patient and see what unfolds, maybe a little space will help your b/f.
Be strong and hopeful,
lovelynightmare
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks lovelynightmare .... but things just assended in the wrong direction... i tried to sort things out with my boyfriend but now we have ended up going on a break because when we talk about our problems we both get so hot headed and angry at each other..... and to make matters worse this other guy brought me a cupcake at work...visited me, told me he likes me and said heaps of nice things and now im even more confused ahhh!!
by the way the problems me and my boyfriend are having are that i feel he has been ignoring me and not showing me much attention, love and affection lately... he didnt call for 3 days even though i tryed calling him...he was working on his car, when he kisses me he watches tv while kissing me! i ask him to text message me nice messages and he always forgets... i have tryed reasoning and talking to him but he doesnt seem to put in the effort.... i feel like the guy who has a gf is putting more of an effort than my boyfriend...
i just dont know what to do!
but i do love my boyfriend....
...............................
A
male
reader, lovelynightmare +, writes (25 January 2009):
If a man is taken, it's no good to be flirting with him, especially if it's drawing attention. It will only cause problems for you and him. Try to avoid him.As for your current boyfriend, I don't have any details on the nature of the quarreling, but every relationship has problems and "cold spells", try to resolve them, make neccesary compromises etc.. You must really love him if you've been 4.5 years.All the best, lovelynightmare
...............................
|
