A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, a few months ago my boyfriend got a job. The problems we were having in our relationship were finally getting resolved, but then once he started to work, things got so much worse. He works so much-especially on weekends, which is usually the only time we can hang out. We barely get to see each other anymore. It really feels like he's neglecting me and putting his job first. I'm sick of it. He used to be crazy about me and want to spend as much time as possible with me, but now it's the complete opposite. He knows how I feel about it, but doesn't really seem to care. He told me to just deal with it. Well, how can I? I'm not going to have a text and phone relationship. I actually want to SEE my boyfriend and spend time with him.I feel like I'm always last and I feel really unappreciated. I want how things used to be back, when he couldn't wait to see me and we would have an amazing time together when we hung out. I want him to put me first for once. He said this job would make our relationship better, when really, it's created a whole mess of more problems. I have no ides what to do anymore. Help? =/
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male
reader, Boy Blue +, writes (12 September 2010):
You just have to explain to him that in order for the relationship to work he has to make time for you, the same as you would do for him. You should understand that working is a big part of anyone's life whether it is a part of your's or not. Similarly he needs to understand that just because he is working is an excuse to neglect you totally.
But try not to be totally selfish here, I'm sure it's not an easy thing for him to do and either you seem really needy or just at your end, I have no idea but it can become stressful for him since there is very little he can actually do about it...since he does have to work.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): It sounds like he's not that into you anymore. He could probably carve out some more time to be with you if he wanted. Plus, him totally disregarding your feelings is just wrong. I would tell him you think you two should break up, and be prepared to go through with it. If he still doesn't seem to care, then you know you're making the right decision. If you guys were having ongoing problems anyway, then maybe a breakup is for the best.
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