A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, im 16 years old and have recently been diagnosed with depression, and also my boyfriend split up with me wed bee going out for 4 months and he helped me to cope alot, he says this is due to me being too clingy-although all of mine and his friends have mentioned too me (without my asking) that i wasnt too clingy. he never treated me particually well and always put himself first,all my friends said i should have dumped him ages ago- so i should be able to move on , but i cant. since weve split up hes been particually cruel to and about me telling people things i told him in confidence about myself and about my depression, hes already moved on with a girl who used to bully me everyday, hitting me and punching me... please help me i dont know how to cope.
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female
reader, xcharlottex +, writes (26 March 2007):
I can relate alot to this situation, I too am 16, recently diagnosed with depression, and recently been treated badly by a boy.
There are really two things you can do here, you can argue with him....shout at him... just to try and show him how much he's hurt you and try to get under his skin, but that would only push him away even further, leaving you with less confidence and looking quite pathetic...
OR
You can show him how strong you can be (even if you dont feel it)
You can basically stop all contact with him, completely move on (it may take a LITTLE time, but you will be fine), find someone else who is more worthy of you, there are so many great guys out there, you just have to look a little, you can easily find someone better, & you will wonder what you ever saw in this guy, he'll most likely be shocked and want you back, but you really wont want anything to do with him at that point, and he'll be the one looking pathetic. (I know this because this is what I decided to do and it works. He wants me back, but I have no interest because I am way too good for him, and this is exactly how you will feel)
hope this helps.
xxx
A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (25 March 2007):
 There are various types of depression, some more serious than others. My boyfriend has clinical depression and it is serious. It can last for months, and during that time, I can honestly say, he is no fun to be with. He tries to pull himself out of it, to no availe.
Depression affects so many people, and affects them in a variety of ways. How it affects you is not really up to you either.
You obviously have many good friends that know the problem and are standing by you. Make sure that you keep your friends close to your heart, because when all is said and done, they will still be there for you!
As for this little pratt. If he is capable of doing this to you when you are vunerable and in a difficult situation, then he didnt deserve you to start with! When you get yourself into a situation, like depression, you will soon enough find out who your friends are. The ones that are still there when light is in sight, are the ones you can truelly call your "Friends".
I suffered from depression after I was sexually abused at 15. I became a complete recluse for 2 years, not leaving the house other than to go to school. I went to school, came home and went straight to my room. After 2 years, I found out who my friends were because they were the ones who stood by me, tried to get me out, and were still there when "I was ready".
Ensure you take your tablets, they will start to work, and hopefully make you feel better. Leave this "little boy" and his new girl and look after number one - YOU!!!
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (25 March 2007):
 There are two issues here.
One is clinical depression. That is NO JOKE! Get professional help, FOLLOW their advice to the letter, and don't even THINK about skipping medicines that they say to take or skipping medical appointments or anything like that. Your life is on the line here kid, and we don't want to lose you! You matter to a whole lot of people ... including this whole community now that you've come to us.
The other one is a betrayal of trust. My grandfather from Wisconsin (a largely agricultural state in the midwestern US) had a saying: "There's more horse's asses than there are horses in this world by a whole lot". Well, you just found one of those.
Whenever you are vulnerable, there is a natural tendency to want to find something to cling to. You were, and you did. It's bad that the person you found wasn't worthy of your trust.
Your best reaction to your ex (start thinking of him in the past tense) and his new girlfriend is to stay as far away from them as you can. It's not always possible to avoid such people entirely, but do your best. Cultivate new friends who don't move in the circles that include them. If people repeat things he's told them about you, just ignore them with dignity ... or tell them to just consider the source. You needn't deny anything, just tell them to consider the source.
Eventually you will find someone new that you CAN trust, but go slow. Test the waters before jumping in. Don't let this bad experience sour you on the prospect of future relationships, but let it be cautionary. You know you need someone who will treat you kindly and gently. You may find that person in a very unexpected place, so stay alert. You're not necessarily looking for Mr. Popularity now, kid. You need a very kind and gentle guy. And they come in all sizes, shapes, places, and backgrounds. Stay alert.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2007): Honey- the reason you are treated like dirt is because you treat yourself like dirt. You may not see it- but your dependence on him and the seeming lack of control of your life is a result of your low self esteem. Leave him and that girl behind, and get involved in sports or music or school- make new friends there who support you and enjjoy you for who you are. Read some books, go running, draw, spend a week completely by yourself- go on walks listen to music, bake some cookies, make yourself feel special and important. Get a new outfit? I have been through all sorts of depression, anxiety, compulsive, eating disorders, and its a long road- but it really all stems from you feeling that you are worthwhile. Really focus on yourself, not others. That doesnt mean become egotistical- but really it means to learn to respect and care about yourself. I am 21 years old and have never had a boyfriend- but I can speak three languages- I am majoring in architecture, I write classical music pieces, I've traveled, and Ive learned enough to help others. Find something else to dedicate your life to. Because boys are like busees- there will be one every 15 minutes- why not save the hasle and have fun withyourself instead? expand your horizons. I reccomend the book, "He's just not that into you"- it will help you find the right guy and impower you in your life. You cant rely on others to take care of you. Please take care of yourself first. Hope this helps.
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