A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 6 years now and lately he keeps asking when are going to finally have sex. He doesn't know that i have chosen that i want to wait till marriage. how do i tell him??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007): I will be 21 this year. I've kissed 6 guys and had 2 serious fairly long term relationships before. I am a christian and still a virgin. I understand how hard it is to wait until marriage. I am currently struggling a lot - as I am seeing a new guy who is very persistant with sex. Since we've only been on 3 dates I haven't told him I'm a virgin yet. Half of me wants to have sex with him but I don't think I could because I was with a guy for 8 months who I'd had a crush on for 4 years and truely loved and I never slept with him. So why would I waste it on a guy I've been seeing for 3 weeks who I don't even love?
I think you must tell your bf that you want to wait until marriage. I'm actually very surprised you've been together for 6 years without talking about that. If he can wait 6 years I am 100% sure he would be willing and able to wait until marriage. Most of my friends don't believe in sex before marriage and their bfs have decided to wait for them...and most of them seem to be getting engaged after 1-3 years together. So 6 years is quite an achievement. I think you should wait. and I'm sure he will. Respect him enough to tell him your worries. Communication is what will hold you together better than sex my friend.
A
male
reader, home_land  +, writes (28 March 2007):
 hello
you just look at him and tell him that i want to wait till marriage.
good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2007): Just tell him that your virginity is important to you and that you want to wait until you are in a loving marriage before losing it. If he is worth being the guy that you want to settle down with then he'll understand and wait until you are ready but if he dumps you and goes off with another girl then you know that he wasn't worth it.
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A
female
reader, Ask and you shall receive..(well,ill try my best) +, writes (25 March 2007):
 I'v gone through this before with an ex of mine too.i wasn't ready,i didnt want tobut he did!It goes against evrythin i was taught wen i ws younger,my religion,i wasnt ready,n im stil not ready til today!Peer pressure was not helping at all!But...i stil didn't give in to him.
You've got to make him understand tht u believ that havin sex before marrriage is not somethin You want!Either you're not ready,or u dont want to take the risk,it doesn't matter which ever your reason is. He's got to put his wants aside and think of what You want.
Guys aren't like us in these sort of things...They say guys think about sex every 3 seconds!If he loves u he'll wait!If he doesn't want to and keeps insisting,i suggest u find somone who respects u and your decisions.Because it shows he's not ready to make any sacrifices for you!
That's what i did,and it worked out for me!Don't give in,stay strong and be honest with him.
Hope everything works out for you!Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (25 March 2007):
 Do people actually still do that? I thought that went out with buggy whips.
I guess your only hope is complete honesty. You may be the world's oldest living virgin by the time you get married. You have my complete respect, and I'll nominate him for some kind of a medal.
But by all means tell him of your determination. If he's stuck by you for six years without getting any, I'm sure he's not going to reject you just because you're determined to wait a little longer until you're ready to say the big "I Do".
When you DO break the news to him, I suggest that you have a wedding date already established or at least firmly in mind that you can agree to right then. If you're just telling him "someday", I predict that he is NOT going to react very favorably to the news. It may not seem like an overwhelming thing to you, but let me assure you, it IS to him.
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A
female
reader, Midge  +, writes (25 March 2007):
 Its not going to be easy because he will probably assume that you want to have sex too, but just a little scared.
I was in the same boat as you. I was brought up with very catholic values and as such, was told that sex was for marriage, and marriage only. It was drummed into my head that under no circumstances was I to have any sexual encounter until I was married.
I told my boyfriend that, and at first he was very understanding, but then as time went on, he got more and more persistent until I caught him cheating. When I confronted him about it, he told me that if I'd had sex with him, that it would never have happened.
Firstly, although I was upset that my 4 year relationship was over, I was grateful that I never gave the most important thing away to scum like that. He could have spoken to me about it, rather than cheat behind my back. Secondly, dont let anyone pressurise you into doing ANYTHING you dont want to do, or are not ready to do. The fact that he is so quick to hand over something that you can never get back, doesnt mean you have to.
I had to be sure that when I did loose my virginity it was to a man that I loved and knew I spend the rest of my lift with. I have now been in an almost 9 year relationship with him, and happier than I have ever been.
So you hold onto your morrals and wait for the right man to come along!
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