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female
,
anonymous
writes: i have been with my boyfriend for about 12 years and he has just split up with me i feel like my life has just ended help!!!!
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female
reader, DrumMeOver +, writes (5 June 2006):
 Definitely surround yourself with people that love you and people you trust. They will be the ones keeping you down to Earth, making sure that you don't do anything rash that you wouldn't normally want to do-- aka smashing windows or faces, hehe.
It's going to be a tough road, but even if it means sleeping in your mom's bed one night like you did when you were little, or hiring someone to talk to, or eating the world's supply of Ben & Jerry's... you'll get through it. Just don't blame it one yourself. Obviously if this relationship lasted twelve years, it wasn't an easy change of heart that your significant other went through.
Also, I know it's hard to think like this right now, but down the road be glad that your significant other realized this relationship wasn't going to work out-- otherwise, you might've ended up with the wrong "one".
Make sure you spend a real long time taking care of yourself now, sweetheart. You're going to need this time to heal and find out what you want to do next in life. It doesn't have to include someone you want to be with-- PLEASE REMEMBER that you do NOT need someone to be happy. You must always be happy with yourself before you're happy with anyone else, and that will come in handy when relationships end, because you'll still have faith in yourself to move on alone.
Good luck dear, I really hope you start to feel better soon. I'll be prayin' for ya.
KC
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (3 June 2006):
 Well its only natural you should feel that way since this guy has been a huge part of your life for along time. I agree with what was said above and also think that it is important you give yourself time to heal. I think that although he was a big part of your life he was not our entire life and now is the time to maybe shift your focus to other things - this wont make the pain go away but at least it will stop you focusing on it so much.
As the other respondent said you are going to go through a wide range of emotions and its important that you have a support network of friends around you. People you can confide your feelings in and feel comfortable with. Hope that helps. Take care.
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A
female
reader, been_there +, writes (3 June 2006):
 hi there! im sorry honey...this is just hard!!right now theres nothing anyone can say or do that will make this go away or even lessen the plain!du u know y he broke up with u? if not ask him!!closure is good at least ul know tyhe reason...apart from that im afraid ul just have 2 get over it with time right now i know the pain feels like its never going 2 go but TRUST me 1day it will TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS!!ul go through many phases- ul want 2 beg him 2 take him back, ul want 2 smash his windows on his car (or even smash his face!!) ul want 2 "b friends" ul want 2 make him jealous ul want 2 crank cal him ul want 2 c him hurting!! uve just got 2 let nature take its crse!! maybe call al ur gurlfriends and have a gurlie night out or sleepover swapping stories watching movies and eating ben and jerrys phish food-its soo good it almost makes u 4gt...but al in al ul just have 2 weep about it, get in a strop be miserable 4 a few dais then get on with life- i know its hard and i know it wil take aloooooonnggg time 2 4get but trust me U WILLLL 4get!!! good luck!
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