A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm scared of being alone.24, with a lof of my friends getting engaged/married...what is up with people??I broke up with my boyfriend in October last year. Since then, i haven't dated anyone. I haven't even met anyone as such.An old friend of mine asked me out...but he is just 21 and we both decided that it would be too complicates because of the age difference and as we are in different cities.I don't know why...i get so jealous and sad when i see others happy. I know its wrong. But i feel so lonely. I have tried to keep myself busy with work...and other stuff like reading/cooking/gyming but it does not help. I have tired to go out and meet new people but because i am so shy i find it difficult to open upto anyone new.I am so scared that i will never find someone who loves me and who i love again...how can i cope up with being single again...i don't know how to do this!
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broke up, engaged, jealous, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (15 January 2012):
 News flash your girlfriends new husbands probably have single male friends who are in the same boat as you are. Maybe you should tell your gal pals and they will invite you the next time they have a dinner party and you'll get to meet someone new. You're still very young and I seriously doubt you're going to be single forever. Just keep an open mind and instead of being a little jealous when you see your friends getting married, just say "YES" to it, yes the the dream, yes to the goal, yes to the possibility and doors will open for you.
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (15 January 2012):
 OF COURSE, you don't sound stupid! We all need a little help and encouragement sometimes, and that's why you posted.
Loving yourself comes first: because you care about you, you came to us, and are doing things like preparing to run a marathon - good luck with that! - and with your professional life.
Don't hestitate to write again if there's any more useful feedback we can offer - and let us know how the marathon goes!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot...aunt honesty you are right. I don't want to be one of those people who needs someone to feel good about themselves. Its just that once someone becomes a part of your daily life...it is difficult as i can no longer do the same things which i wanted to.And i hate being envious of others.Denise,I do try to do something productive with my life...lets see. I've signed up for this marathon race (8 km) which takes place in 8 months. So i'll prepare for that. You are right...there are a lot of things which i need to do before i can love myself...its just been very hard for me but i do need to develop myself as in individual...and professionally as well....I guess i sound very stupid but i try taking each day as it comes. Lets hope things work out.
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A
female
reader, meccamega  +, writes (15 January 2012):
Hi I am the same age as you and I have exactly the same problem too.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (15 January 2012):
Aunthonesty offers you excellent advice.
I would only say this: You have YOU. What I mean by that is that it's up to you to be your own best friend and advocate.
Not that that doesn't mean you shouldn't cultivate friendships with other women, and guys, too!
But do try to think of activities you really enjoy. Are there any "worthy causes" that interest you? What do you feel passionately about? (that children and animals are treated right - poverty at home or overseas, for instance).
The more you can go out and get involved - as well as spending some quiet time at home with a favorite book or TV show - or just thinking things over - all this will help boost your self-confidence.
You're only 24. Plenty of time to meet a guy you really click with.......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2012): Worst thing is to find someone because you are lonely... Ask someone you know well if there are any single guys they could recommend for you..
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (15 January 2012):
 I can understand where you are coming from, you want to be in a secure relationship and want someone to love you, I get that off course I do. But you need to learn to be happy on your own before that can happen. If you go in to relationship just because you don't want to be on your own well then it will never work. You need to learn to enjoy single life. Do things that you want to do. Socialize and try and work on your shyness. Hang out with friends and try new things. Make the most of your life, you are still young plenty of time to meet someone. Confidence in a person is always a good start so try and do things that make you feel good about yourself and gradually it will make you come out of your shell more if you are feeling good.
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