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female
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anonymous
writes: My bf is going through a rough patch, and though our relationship is strong it is having an effect. He is unemployed and will be kicked out of his house soon for not being able to pay the rent. He's asked if there's a chance he can stay with me for a while and do chores etc. as payment, but it's not my house it's my mother's as i am 16 and still live at home, and i know she'll say no. I'm worried because he's really depressed and doesn't seem to be able to sleep, except i find he's happier at my house because i can feed him and look after him and he seems to sleep well at my house (I know i mother him, but he needs it because he's not taking care of himself). I know it will do him the world of good as he'll be safe and happier and I can stop worrying about him coz i'll know he's ok and not living on the street or sleeping on people's floors or whatever. How can i convince my mum it's a good idea? She's always complaining that he spends too much time at my house as it is. She does like him but she's just really set in her ways and claims she 'needs her space' even though she's at work most of the time. If he can't stay here then does anyone have any suggestions as to what he can do? His own family wind him up and make him even more stressed out so he refuses to move back in with them, and his friends never seem to be there for him. thanks for the help, sorry i was so long-winded xx
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female
reader, pica +, writes (5 October 2006):
It's her house so it's her rules. She may be afraid that he would outstay his welcome. I realise he has problems of his own but you are only 16 - he should be able to get support from friends and family. If not, why not? Are you just an easier free meal and bed? By all means support him emotionally to get back on his feet but don't make it too easy for him to stay down, else he'll never have a reason to get on with his life.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 October 2006):
 It would be helpful to know how old your boyfriend is and what exactly is causing him so much stress. If he is avidly looking for work and not just moping around then that's one thing. Is it likely he will be able to find work (has skills or training?) or is he just trying for any job he can get? You will have much more luck convincing your mother if you can tell her it's just a temporary situation. If he's a freeloader there is no way she'll agree. In any case if she refuses then he will have to look to his own family even if it isn't his first choice. At least that will help motivate him to get a job and move out.
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