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female
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*lackcoffee
writes: Hi there.Friday night my man went out with the boys so when i called his house his brother told me he had gone out. I tried his mobile but it was not being replied. Next day he called to apologize. Saturday same thing happened ( i had missed his call so maybe he wanted to let me know). Anyhow, sunday morning my cousin called to ask me if I knew he was out coz they werre at the same club with her boyfriend and chatted. She said not to worry coz he was just with his friends all night, no girls involved ( i trust her, she believes in truth no matter who gets hurt). Problem is, I had left him very nasty messages and accused him of cheating on me ( there is the ex of his that just won't give up and called him on thurs so I feel justified to worry). There has been no contact. Today I decided to be mature and call him but he ignored the call and cut the next one. He may have been at work but normally he says call in 10 mins or something. Anyhow, I feel The ball is now in his court cos there is nothing as boring as knowing someone does not want to talk to you. What do you think.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006):
You made him look bad in front of his friends and your cousin.
Showing up and confronting him at work makes him look bad in front of his coworkers.
Makes it next to impossible for him to take you back: everybody at work is going to be riding him about who that crying girl in the parking lot was arguing with him.
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (4 October 2006):
 Hi Blackcoffee,
I know that others said to give your boyfriend some space, but when I was in your situation, I just showed up at my boyfriend's job when I knew he wouldn't have a chance to leave. He took a break and we were able to talk things through enough to have him want to get together after his shift.
Now, I'm not sure of your boyfriend's personality, but you might want to consider talking with him in person instead of just calling him. It might mean much more to him than a phone call. But I wouldn't necessarily go to his place of work - that was a hasty decision on my part and it could have caused more problems.
Maybe you could try visiting him at home? By not contacting him, it might make him feel like you aren't trying hard enough or something in his opinion.
But, like I said, I don't know your partner so I can't say that would be the best decision for your specific relationship. It's just something to consider.
Also for the future, just try talking with him about things that worry you. It is much better to have open communication as opposed to making your bf scared to tell you anything from fear of your reactions, right?
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006): You need to give him some space because he is obviously annoyed and hurt. Instead of trying to call him write him a letter telling him that your sorry and why you felt the way you did, then leave him alone if he wants to contact you he has your number. You put yourself in this situation may be next time you will remember to keep your mouth shut and the mobile switched off until you have all the facts.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (4 October 2006):
 'nothing as boring as knowing someone does not want to talk to you?'
If you see it in those terms that's unfortunate. Trust is an essential part of a healthy relationship, and you just demonstrated you don't trust him. No wonder he is upset, I think most men would be in his situation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006):
I agree with him. I'd drop you for that shit too. Who needs this when you are are with friends?
Give him at least two weeks before you contact him again.
And stop this crap.
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