A
female
age
30-35,
*iszalizeh
writes:I'm in an amazing relationship with my boyfriend of 5 months. He and I met in school once before, but lost touch until last December. My family is a traditional Southeast Asian family. I'm first generation Asian-American in our family. I'm very NON-traditional. I date outside of my race and most of my friends are outside of my race as well. My boyfriend is mixed black and puerto rican, but he looks more black than anything else. He makes my heart flutter. My mother HATES him, just because he's black. She doesn't want me to see him, talk to him, or anything. She feels that all blacks are just the way they are represented in movies and TV. My boyfriend is NOTHING like that. I mean he does have his troubles in his past, but who doesn't? I know I do. He makes me happy and I feel that our relationship is going in a good direction. Even though we've had our differences, but what relationship doesn't?My questions are:How do I get my mother to accept my boyfriend? (she is very stubborn about this subject.)How do I get her to accept the people I tend to be around? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jesc +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Hmm, My family use to be the same way to my boyfriend(now husband). He is Persian and Irish wild mix but he is. Due to a family event with a Persian man with my sister and my aunt they judged him. He is the most amazing thing that has happen to me and for 6 years he and I have been in love. It took them a long time to come around. But I kept pushing the issue and they learned they would either respect him and deal. Or they could just hate him. But I would be by his side no matter what.
I'll be honest I use to have a friend whose mother was just the same. My friend could not be around me cause of her mother saying it was wrong having friends that were not the same race as you. She fixed it by snapping her in the new year.
She told her mother this after her and I discussed how we could hang out without hiding it.
"Mother, I love you with all my heart. I understand you care about my future and my well being. But we can not judge people by the color of their skin,eyes,hair. I have friends from all sorts of nationality and I'm proud to have them. They are good people and care for me the way friends should."
Her mother and her had problems on this but her mother came to realize that to give a chance you receive a chance. That's how she came about the problem.
I would honestly sit down with her and be brutality honest. I would hit a low spot. I would tell her we are in America, which is made of everyone from every part of the world. You moved here thinking for the best, You should let me have the best as well. Tell her, If they want you to only date in their race to move back to their country.
Or you can wait it out. You are almost 18 and then you get a chance to really be you.
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