A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiance moved out last week. We have been engaged for 3 year and i asked her to set a date for the wedding several months ago.. i also began to talk about children.. i feel i have hen pecked her out of insecurity about marriage and kids when she is clearly not ready for marriage also i know she is commited to me. She is younger than me 24 im 27. She is coming round for a chat tomorrow and my head is on the block.. how can i convince her i have seen the error of my ways and show her that i am ready to wait for her. Kids aren't really an issue..she is all i want.. kids would be a bonus. I am trully devastated by this and time is of the essence.. any help would be great..thanks
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (16 February 2008):
 Oh dear, I'm so sorry you're going through this.You are both so young. (I'm feeling quite ancient at 47.)You are slightly older than she is so I guess that makes you the grown up?My advice still stands for me, if she's 24 now she was 19 when you became a couple.If you really love her, you're going to have to let her see what's out there if she wants to. Make sure she knows how much you care for her, and if you're willing to wait, how long. Look back at my posts, I hesitate to bring the book up again, but it really helps to have read it. There's only one I have found worthwhile....I'm so sorry for your pain now, I really wish you both the best. ((()))
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim 27..ticked the wrong box..we have been together 5 years in april..thanks for advice..im not sure where this will end really..gutted
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 February 2008):
I think hen pecking is reserved for us women! Is there such a thing as rooster pecking? --- oh, dear, let's don't go there!
Seriously, though, just tell her what you've said here. She is what you want and that you're willing to wait. Do you have any idea how many women would just swoon to hear that?
Be honest with her about how you feel about her and what you want. Don't give ultimatums unless you really mean to follow through. If she is committed to you she will want to work things out. By the same token, you have to know what you are willing to accept.
If she is honest in return you'll know where you stand and what your expectations should be with her. If you're miles apart you then have the chance to think about what matters more to you, waiting for her or moving on with what you really want. You may have to face the unpleasant notion that she's not being honest with you and that she's stringing you along until something better comes along.
In her defense, she is still young and may want to explore what else is out there.... she has not after all spent much time with her age group.
You stated you were 27, but the age group given in the question was 30-35... which is correct?
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A
female
reader, iAintYourAunt +, writes (16 February 2008):
 Tell her what you just said. Kids are good but not a necessity. You need her in your life regardless. Just tell her. But, also, may I note, if she is so insecure about marriage why are you engaged? The age difference between you is only small. But, the fact you have been engaged for 3 years and still haven't planned the wedding has me a bit concerned about why you are engaged.
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