A
male
age
36-40,
*du
writes:Ok so my gf is very vocal about her feelings and where she sees our relationship in the future...I on the other hand dont like to express my feelings too much, ive just never been accustomed to doing so, never scene it growing up or anything and really feel a bit uncomfortable when trying to express my feeling in words. Its not that i never tell my gf that i love her or that i want to be with her. The thing is the other night we were talking on the phone( long distance relationship btw) and shes started saying how she loves me and that she never wants what we have to end etc etc, and i just stayed silent like i always do when such conversations start. She then asked what i thought about what she just said, and i said nothing im just listenting to you speak. She got mad and wanted me to answer her but i couldnt. Im scared she might think im not taking this relationship serious or as serious as she might want it to be....Any advice on how i can communicate with her what im feeling..
View related questions:
long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Ldu +, writes (28 October 2010):
Ldu is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto the female reply.Yea its difficult and i can always hear he get a bit upset when i dont answer but i have told her that i dont feel comfortable being all expressive. Ive tried other means of communication now which seems to be working, for instance if i hear a verse or certain lines ina song that remind me of her or say how im feeling i'll just out the speaker to the phone and tell her to listen. She likes that, but still prefer i say it to her lol.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): wow you sound just like my boyfriend, he too has problem with saying how he feels, good at showing it in actions an what he does for me, but saying it he dont know how to, so reading what you had put, made me realise what he his going through, maybe he hasnt been broughtup to express feelings dont know, but it does worry me like it probably worries your girlfriend, i do feel that he dont care about where we are going, so i can relate to your girlfriends conversation on the phone, where she is thinking cause you dont say how you feel, yes shes bound to think he dont care, he dont see a future, hes not bothered about if i walked away tomorrow he would not be bothered, thats all the things i think about my man cause of him not telling me, at least you have said you love her thats a big thing, my man has not even said that, said it a text once but not to my face, i use to say it all the time and be lovey with him but i kept thinking maybe i am giving too much and he cant handle it, now i have stopped, cause i feel rather stupid when i dont get a reply back, i know he loves me cause of how he his with me, i am hopeing to see him again soon and i hoping he will mention them 3 little words to me, cause i know it will took a while for him to say them, but i will know its not just words he means it, i would rather wait until he his ready to say i love you cause some people just say them and there just words no meaning, but yes you have helped me realise what hes going through and maybe i could help him but i would not know how to bring up the conversation about it, when i read what you said it must be upsetting that you cant say what you feel, when you know inside shes the one you want to spend the rest of your life with but cant say that, i myself have stopped worrying now and hopefully one day them words will come, good luck, to what i have said you have seen it from your girlfriends, point of view cause of what i have said you sort of get i idea of how she feels, cause her man cant tell her how feels but thats not your problem give it time that what i am doing for my man.
...............................
A
male
reader, Ven  +, writes (19 October 2010):
Don't let this come as a shock, but the reason she is constantly asking what you think is because she is worried about what you think you both share.You need to initiate a conversation where you tell her what you think the two of you have. If you can't speak it on the spot, send her a card (women do love them random cards). Tell her you aren't good at speaking out about how you feel, but that you definitely feel that way for her.
...............................
|
