A
female
age
30-35,
*issy.x
writes:Hello im stuck I basically have trust issues with my boyfriend we have been going out for nearly 7 months now and at the begining of the relationship I saw that he had asked a girl to meet up with him and that he had missed there conversations together. i also saw that he had liked this girls photo but hes in denial and says his friend went on his account and done it, but that just seems a bit funny to me. I tell him everything and it just seems that he does everything behind my back and when I catch him out I still have to get the truth out of him like when we went on his hotmail account to check an email a girl popped up who was his ex of two years they where talking on the day me and my him were arguing this just made me really upset because the conversation was right infront of us and he still denied it, it was stupid really and then he got in a stress and we then had another row we decided that so we could both trust each other to delete every girl off his facebook and every boy off of mine because the trust is breaking us apart but now his exes keep adding him back on facebook and I really dont know if any girls are texting him. I know I shouldn't be but I am very insecure on the way I look and his exes and much prettier than me and im sure they didn't row every day but I know that if he loves me he wont care what i look like and he will always stick by me especially as were already engaged! I just want to be able to trust him when he goes out and I hate seeming controlling I wouldn't mind him talking to girls if I could trust him, I have tried, but he means everything to me he's always been there I just dont know how I can start trusting him again if I dont know if he's still doing that sort of stuff behind my back, im sorry this is long and seems stupid but I just need advice its been going on for too long now and every time we talk about it, we row. I want to know how I can change to be able to trust him again and no be so insecure on the way i look. Its breaking my heart not knowing what else hes doing behind my back, he denise everything even if the truths infront of him! What to do?
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female
reader, missy.x +, writes (23 September 2011):
missy.x is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe is almost 20 and when our relationship is good its really good and we get along perfectly he wants to settle down n he has also got my name tattooed on him so I know he really loves me & I love him, so no offence that didn't really answer my question but thanks amh87 your advice really helped :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): I hate to say it but facebook is not the problem. You are 16 or 17 years old. You have only dated for 7 months. I know you don't want to hear it but if he is the same age as you are then he has hormones raging and going like crazy. He is going to look (every guy looks girls). I think at this point you need to focus on being together. Go places do things. If he hasn't cheated on you yet you should work on building more memories of you and him together doing things, not arguing over trust. He is an obvious liar so you can't expect him to ever answer you truthfully, so I suggest you look online for a thing called a key logger if you are not sure what he does online. I think they sell for like $20 dollars or so. You plug it into the back of the computer and it will tell you everything that was typed. You can use this to figure out his username's and passwords so that you can read his e-mails and spy on his facebook if you want, but you really need to ask yourself. Is that what you really want? Is he really going to be honest with you if you just ask him? If trust is this bad of an issue now do you really want to get married?Just think about what you want out of life and if he's the right choice. Never the less I have to say as I think I may have already hinted on. DON'T GET MARRIED YOU ARE WAY TO YOUNG!!!!
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A
female
reader, amh87  +, writes (21 September 2011):
I am going through the same exact issue. I know its hard. TRUST me! Me and him deal with it every day to the point, I will go on his phone constantly. What had helped us A LOT was deleting facebook. To be honest, that website is the devil and horrible for relationships. Now we are rebuilding on our trust, but its been hard, but he has to prove that he wants it to work. Even though he has to deal with you being insecure. What my boyfriend has done is try to build my self-esteem up, cause his ex would attack me by my looks. Only now when I look back, its her that is insecure. Just talk to him, see how he handles with deleting facebook and that will help out a lot if he does.
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