A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How can I stop my negative approach to life? Has anyone overcome this negative outlook on life and if so how? I have been in therapy and it's clear to me that I'm a miserable woman (sad) but true nothing makes me happy- I myself am not happy - I feel like I'm scared to do what makes me happy - it's easier to do what society wants u to do- I'm at a point where I've given up . Love ? What's the point the guys that were with me mistreated me so bad - a career - I fought so hard for one got my masters and I still am not compinsated - friends - most of them have been backstabbers- I just it seems every where I turn I see negative and I have to blame myself for surrounding myself with these ppl but I can't change the fact that my past is my past and I can't be in denial that there are bad ppl there - I mean people get screwed over all the time every day - why can't I just be more positive? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (7 August 2017):
You have the answer to yourself in your own comment:"I feel like I'm scared to do what makes me happy"The day you start making what makes you happy, your outlook of life will change. You will then get surrounded by people that want what you want, and you will be a magnet of people that are positive. Change your life, take risks, do what you really want to do, don't do what society expects you to do because that will only bring you misery.When it comes to human relationships, equal minds attract, different minds repel. If you have a negative outlook on life, you will attract people with negative outlook on life, backstabbers, cheaters, etc.When you have a positive outlook of life, you are going to attract positive and honest people, who don't want to hurt you or take advantage of you.There are good and positive people out there, you just need to hang out where they are, and change your mindset to be able to hang out with them.Join a club, any kind of club. Exercise, lift weights, swim, do yoga, whatever you ever wanted to do, as long as you get out of your comfort zone and keep working out. Exercise not only to get fit and slim, but also to feel more confident being yourself. Keep going to therapy, and keep doing the homework your therapist gives you. If you have been with your therapist more than 6 months and you feel like you are not getting anywhere, move on to the next one.I wish you luck!
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (7 August 2017):
 Sweetheart, nobody and nothing can MAKE you happy. Happiness is a life choice. Obviously there are times when all of us are sad because of things that happen. Also, if there are mental health issues, like depression, these will bring your mood down. However, those occasions aside, you can CHOOSE to be happy.
Do something for me and try this FOR ONE DAY ONLY. Say to yourself "Just for today, I will try to smile a lot and, whatever happens, I will continue smiling and not let it get me down". Greet everyone you meet with a smile and a cheery "good morning". Whatever is asked of you at work, agree readily and smile and just do it. If you are in a shop being served, smile at the attendant and thank them for their service. (It will cost you nothing and may just make a huge difference to their day.) If someone says something which you don't particularly like, smile and don't show it bothers you. YOU can choose how you react, or not.
If you feel you are undervalued at work, look around for a better paid job where you will be better financially compensated, or even approach your boss and ask if there is anything you can do more of/better to get a pay rise. (I do suspect that money will not make you any happier though.)
When making friends, if you see signs of them being negative or mean, take a step back and distance yourself from them. Life is too short to be with people who don't treat you well. However, to have friends you must also BE a friend, so make sure YOU are a nice person to be around.
What is your passion? What catches your interest? Can you take up a sport, or volunteer for a charity you feel strongly about? These are good ways of meeting new people with similar beliefs and values to your own.
Sending hugs. Come on, you can do this.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (7 August 2017):
I don't want to sound harsh but you're obviously part of the problem. Not because you can't find happiness necessarily, but because you must either have terrible luck or more likely you keep surrounding yourself with the wrong people. Plus, if you're always miserable you're probably more likely to find misery in things that some people deal with normally.
Long story short: you're not going to find your answer here, keep going to therapy.
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