A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I have been "seeing" this guy for a couple months now. Basically we just meet up when we're going out to a bar and we'll hang out with each others friends and always have sex later on in the night. We stay the night with one another and usually lounge around in bed, just talking or watching tv for a while the next day until one of us has something to do. However, I feel like this is kind of a friends with benefits thing since it just seems like sex but I want more. How can I bring it up to him without ruining whats going on? HELP please!!
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female
reader, Scribble75  +, writes (14 August 2012):
I've had a lot of FWB over the years, I appreciate this sounds bad but at the time it was what I needed. 3 turned into ling term relationships because I was honest with them and they were with me. My last one, I am very happily married to :). Honesty in any relationship is so important, be it girlfriends, FWB, partners etc, if you can't be honest with a friend, albeit even a FWB, who can you tell the truth with? I'd sit down in a neutral place and not post sex either and tell him you'd like to take hints a bit further. Don't pressure him and state you're undying love to him but take it steady and build on what you have already. It sounds like he is already happy and relaxed in your company, it may just need one of you to be brave and admit how you feel. If the answer isn't what you want to hear then at least you know. It'll end up torturing you if you don't say something. Good luck! X
A
female
reader, katiekate +, writes (12 August 2012):
 This doesn't "seem" like a FWB situation, it IS a FWB situation. I agree 100% with blonde30s... But it's too late to go back and change things. If you want this to turn into an actual relationship, you need to sit him down and tell him how you feel. If he does not reciprocate, I suggest you move on unless you want to continue a FWB relationship with someone you have feelings for, which will almost certainly cause you much more heartache than it's worth.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 August 2012):
 Well, since you already jumped into bed it might not be so easy to go from a "FWB" type to a real relationship.
All you can do is talk to him. Tell him how you feel, however, he may not want to same... The whole Why date the cow when you already get the milk, type deal.
Unless you talk to him, he will not know how you feel.
And if he doesn't want more then what you two have , then what? You will continue to have sex with him in the hopes he might realize what an awesome girl you are?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2012): Making every guy wait for sex is the most respectable. Sleeping with guys quickly is less respectable.
But sleeping with the "wrong" guys quickly and holding out with the "right" guys is the trashiest thing of all.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (12 August 2012):
 I agree with Blonde30's. If you think you might want more with a man, you don't sleep with him before getting to know him. On the other hand, if you want more, talk to him about it. Ask him on a date. If he says "no" though, you have a decision to make. Can you go along with "sex only" or will you move on?
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