A
female
age
41-50,
*ilentpoet
writes:knowing someone online for over a year now. thought we were in a real relationship and now its all over as if it never existed. I deleted all my accounts I could not bare the pain. all I kept seeing was him posting away about a life he didnt have. if he loved me so much why perform for the world online. then tell me another story. I tried to ask him but then that would just make him react more arrogant as if the world envied him. I thought he was bipolar at one point, then i though he was a narcicist. all I know is people do not go on as this guy did. it was extreme but still i fell for him because I saw another side of him. he was sweet. said sweet things, made promises I now see he never intended to keep. it hurts but all he did was turn the blame on me for breaking my heart!! and then said i broke his. then said i left him when in fact he left me. its just a whirlwind.. everything i told him he'd turn back around and use it on me. do you get where im going? I hope. its been days since i cut all contact he cant email me nomore. but i still dont know how to get back well get my mind and heart back..i didnt do anything to him? so why is it i feel this way. he lied about talking to other girls it was out for the world to see but he turned that around too. said it was me who dont understand and etc..but all i ever did was be there. make him songs and poems and write him and he said he was so lucky to meet me and wanted to give me the world but then he just started to mess up my head..to the point idk what happened or what I could of did. I waited for him all these months and now he not coming. but says he love me to death and would do anything for me. but the way he made me feel that da blaming me when I confronted him about what the girl said, then turning things around on me then making me feel bad all the while he kept saying all that i said did not make him feel bad or look bad at all. I dont understand what that even mean!! who says that? him, him, him he didnt care at all or truly see he hurt me, lied to me and just took away all he helped me see with us..so I wrote him a letter and mailed it to him and just told him i thought we were truly friends more than anything and online all I saw was him saying he cant wait to meet the girl he can give the world!!!!!!!!! I remember he said that to me. so I closed myself up so nobody can reach me or so that I can no longer reach him. but im in pain and now I dont know if I made the right choice I tried and faught more to make him face truth but he saw nothing wrong in him..it was me now he just happy go lucky from what I saw online days ago and im a mess wondering how can people truly not feel or see what they say an do to people. or was i just a fool to believe we were something that was special. or was we never anything Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (31 October 2011):
Oh sweetheart I am so sad and sorry to hear you are hurting so much. You are not alone. We have all been there. You just need to give yourself some time. Your heart will heal. My advice is to stop asking all these questions and telling stories in your mind. You can't ever know the truth of how he felt or what is going on for him and you will only torment yourself further trying to figure it out and imagining this and that, when what you really need to do is be kind and loving to yourself right now. Be your own best friend.
You are not a fool, you have a lovely heart. But no this was not a real relationship. Online relationships are very tricky because people don't have to really be themselves. They can be whoever they want to be, because no one is actually standing in front of them who will be able to tell the difference. You were not nothing, clearly you gave each other comfort and very sweet dreams. But dreams and reality are different and you've both confused the two. You are wise to turn off your computer. All computers can give you are words. You deserve better.
Take this time to love yourself. Your heart will heal.
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