A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay well I have very low self esteem. And I honestly don't know why, I hate they way I look I don't think I am anywhere near pretty, not even kinda cute. I have no reason to think this though no one has ever told me I was 'ugly' everyone always tells me I'm pretty, beautiful, hot and what not. I really need to know how I can get over this its driving me crazy I want to be able to believe what everyone tells me.
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female
reader, justme..x  +, writes (14 August 2009):
 Hi :)
Yes you have low self-esteem, it is common and will probably improve as you get older. Just remember that people won't tell you these things just for the sake of it - just to make conversation, or to be polite.
If they thought you were ugly, they just wouldn't mention your looks at all. So if they say it, you can believe that they mean it.
Also, your perception of your looks is very different to other people's. They probably see you in a completely different light to how you see yourself. You might hate certain features, whereas they don't even notice them. You might not really think about some features, wheras they find them beautiful.
It depends how deep your low self-esteem goes - if you dislike yourself generally, as well as just the looks thing, then I find that this works: go out, and do something good. Help someone with something. Whatever. Some sort of worthwhile, good deed. And then THINK, remember, and replay what you've done, so that there is no way that you can reflect on that situation in anything other than a positive light of yourself. The more you do this, the more you are able to think of yourself in a good light, if that makes sense :)
If it is just a looks insecurity, then remember what I mentioned earlier: these people are NOT lying, as Starlights said, and they probably see a much more flattering version of you than you think. And in time, perhaps you will too. Just appreciate the compliment, and appreciate what you already have :-)
Hope that helped a bit -xxxxx-
A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (12 August 2009):
 Everyone experiences insecurities in their life and what your going through is very normal when growing up into adulthood.
Dont focus too much on looks, if you base how you will live your entire life based on your looks you wont have a happy life.
If people tell you your pretty thank them for the compliment and enjoy the attention.
Your young only once so make the most of it.
You will only get over your insecurities when you remmeber all the nice things people say in your mind.
Rememeber that they are not lying, they do tell the truth.
in time if you practice this type of thought you will eventually love yourself, but make sure your kind to others also, this is what makes someone truly beautiful.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (12 August 2009):
 You need to stop thinking about this in the perspective of other people. You can try to believe what other people think all you want, but if you don't believe you are attractive, you won't no matter what others tell you. The most attractive guy in the world could tell you that you're hot, and if you don't believe it in the first place, you certainly won't believe him. So forget about what other people say and start focusing on you! Stop putting so much value in the entire idea of being attractive! Who cares if you are attractive or not? Just have fun with life and enjoy everything you can! After you start doing that, you won't see the flaws you do now. They won't be as important anymore. Everyone has flaws. That's just something they have to except, and the most beautiful people in the world are so attractive because they don't dwell on their negative attributes! They just rock it like they are the most gorgeous person in the room, and with that confidence, other people believe they are attractive. So stop worrying and start having fun! Know that you are a good person and value yourself. Have pride in who you are and stop worrying about your looks. Your attitude will definitely change your physical perception of yourself.
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