A
male
age
51-59,
*obertb123
writes:I am a healthy active 39 year old male.I have not been in a serious relationship for over 15 years,truth be told I have not had a date with a women during this period of time.I have some issues with being social and desire to connect with people on a more fundamental level. I am not shy as much as somewhat reserved, and I have been experiencing disappointment both with my personal and church interactions. I have a mental illness that has been active on and off for most of my life and has intertwined with how I relate and interact in everyday life. I am quite stable and wish to continue my discovery of self and how I can make positive change,and increase my over all ability to connect with both men and women. I desire to meet and have a relationship with a women. Can you send me any wisdom,links to other info?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (14 August 2008):
 Hi there, I do not have any wisdom links, you may just have some other Aunts who will weigh in and help you there. I would make a suggestion that you try to join some small social clubs with single people, maybe a travel club, or perhaps visit your public library and check out the bulletin
board, to see if there are people in groups looking for people. Book clubs, social clubs, etc. Do the same thing with your local newspaper, there are community events that you could get involved in to meet and relate to other people. There are many things going on where people would love to have new members. I don't know if your illness has anything to do with depression, but if it does, a doctor on a tv medical report on CNN, I believe, recommended his patients use Omega 3 oil and it helped his patients tremendously. Do some research if you want to know more, or ask your doctor about it. Back to the people, how about looking for people who have the same hobby interests that you do, stamp collectors, coin collectors, investment clubs, photography clubs, see if there are any local chapters and join up. Things should be moving in a positive direction soon. Good luck and let us know how you make out. Take care.
A
female
reader, troysyaussie  +, writes (14 August 2008):
 People are always looking for an influence, someone to look up to, someone to emulate. You can set the example, be the person that people want to be like. You can help change the world by changing yourself. If there is someone that works or lives near you that seems devoid of a friend, reach out and help them. It is incredible the difference one person can make if they become another's friend. Read. Read all of the time and about everything. People admire smart peers, and being well-educated means that you will be able to stick up for what you believe in by using fact. Live life to the fullest. Play sports or volunteer at the soup kitchen. Write that journal. Fill your life to the brim with rewarding activities and enjoy the blessings that come of them. Boost your intelligence. The ability to perform mental tasks with ease is invaluable, taking simple steps in your daily life will help you to cultivate your brain power.
It is never to late to go to school.
Help others. If your best friend is in need of a lift, take him with you on your way to work. If your son is having trouble with his homework, try to take time to help him. When you help others, it not only makes you feel good, but you gain others' trust, which is invaluable to have. Helping out can also be a learning experience.
Spend time with your family. It is truly a learning experience to all of you. Spending quality time away from the T.V. can help you delve into the minds and hearts of your loved ones, allowing you to help them with any problems they may be experiencing and getting to genuinely know them. children that eat dinner as a family are less likely to do drugs, alcohol, or be depressed. Just fifteen minutes a day with family can deeply help everyone involved. Think before you speak, a good listener tends to be a good person, and trust from others will follow.
Stay active. Being healthy and fit allows you to perform more tasks with ease and precision. Just thirty minutes of activity a day can help you lead a healthier, longer, more fruitful life.
Live a healthy lifestyle. If you want your car to perform to its fullest, you have to maintain it regularly and not abuse it. Treat your body with the same respect. Get ample sleep every night, eat/drink properly, and get exersize. You'd be amazed at how much body and mind are connected.
never lose sight of who you really are or what your goals in life are.
While it is great to help others, be sure to leave some time for yourself.
Your family is very important. Always make time for them.
Feed your spiritual need. There is a need to be part of a group and have them care about what you have to offer to the group. Feeding your spiritual health is just as important as feeding your body.
Do not forget to take care of the basics. You cannot forge ahead in life if you aren't even paying the electric bill or buying groceries. Cover the needs first and the wants second.
Here is a link that I found that might help. http://www.wikihow.com/Interact-and-Connect
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