A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, I just wanted suggestions on how best to find out what level of intimacy my girlfriend requires as we progress through our relationship. I know that asking her seems to be the obvious answer. But i'm afraid that she might say "ok" to me whatever i ask just cos she doesn't wanna hurt my feelings. Recently I asked her about goin to second base and her reply was an extrememly unenthusiastic "yes alright"...which made me feel that she might not really be happy with it and might be saying yes just to please me. This is a little worrying to me cos all i wanna do is to see her happy and comfortable. I asked her about moving to second base not cos i desperately needed to but cos i thought that we might both like it. Since she's kinda shy i knew that she wouldn't ask me even if she really wanted to so i thought i'd ask her. Now i don't know whether to go ahead with it cos she said yes or to take more time cos she didn't seem very enthusiastic. Also could i have a rough idea on how far into a relatinship u should look to move to each base. I need to know whether or not i'm rushing into things. My girlfriend is shy and quite sensitive and i really don't want to push her into anything but on the other hand i also want our relationship to progress. What should i do? Any answers will be appreciated very much.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2007): hi all...thanks for ur replies. I apprectiate the trouble. Thanks especially to u rachy for checkin my follow up as well and responding appropriately. I'll be sure to give my gf more time before thinking about intimacy.
A
female
reader, rachy-baby-helps  +, writes (27 July 2007):
 Thanks for your answer, well 3 months isnt very long and if you want to be truly comfortable with each other intimately you really need to wait a bit longer and she will get more comfortable with you. As she is a virgin this will take her a while, don't push her into anything, just let things flow.
Hope this helps :)
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A
male
reader, daglish  +, writes (27 July 2007):
 Like poles always repel. Nobody says that you should be as over sensitive and emotional as your girl. Am afraid if you continue this way, this might as well turn out to be an embarassingly boring relationship. Girls like there boyfriends to be the MEN they claim to be not just another one of her girlfriend in a masculine body. So come on man dont try to think so hard abt what your girl might be thinking if she doesnt say it out. Coz this way you will end up an indecisive basturd hence losing out on her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): yes the lass above is right, just follow your gutt feeling, and her face will tell you the story believe me it realy does.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thanks for ur advice. We've been together for just 3 months so far and yes she is a virgin which is y i'm so anxious about not pushing herinto anything she's not comfortable with
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A
female
reader, rachy-baby-helps +, writes (26 July 2007):
Firstly, how long have you been together? Depending on the length of time, depends on how comfortable your girlfriend feels about her body. If she is a virgin this will make things much harder for her. Make sure you compliment her, tell her how beautiful she is (not fit, or lush as this degrades a girl) make sure you let her know how much you feel for her. She will become much more confident when you talk to her and compliment her.Talk to her about things you have just mentioned on here. Talking about how you feel and issues you have is a big part of making a relationship work. It is good that you are not forcing her into anything, and that you don't feel that you have to go further. Enjoy your relationship. Take her out, be romantic and things may just start to flow. She will tell you if she doesn't want it. But if she dosn't her facial expression will say it all.Good Luck :-)
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