A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing this amazing guy for about six months, he has been great with me but says he wishes I was more forward in makin moves, I have always let him do the work, lack of confidence I suppose, he wants me to go on top, how can I become more confident. He also wants me to talk dirty now and again but I just don't know what to say, I always feel a tad embarrassed.
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female
reader, Lowher  +, writes (29 December 2008):
 It takes forever to be natural in the sack. It took about the same amount of time for me not to wear a bra in bed. still a huge fear for me. Confidence will take time, Im not recomending it, but dutch courage helped me, just because i knew i could never have done it sober. But take your time. you'll be thumping that bed into all hours of the morning.
A
male
reader, male260468 +, writes (29 December 2008):
Hi there. Have been reading the answers to this question...... Good answers. You need to be comfortable with your own body and getting to feel whats good and then you can do this with your partner. I also feel that "dirty talk" is not for everyone, and also sex with your partner is NO WAY THE SAME as n the blue movies. Take things steadily and practice will time will make sex better. Theere is a good DVD out which may be worth looking at. thThis is called "Modern Loving".Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 December 2008):
 Role playing might be a way for you to go. Read up on some things you might want to try. ( Cosmo may have some ideas you would like) If you feel shy e-mail him the link of what you like. It will be a huge turn on for him. But be ready to actually try it too ;)
Like prenez said Dirty talk is not for everyone, but if the two of you text/mail you can add just one little line. A nice little teaser. Huge turn on for some guys. Don't go to elaborate, find a line that you can say to him as well (and only if you want to).
I think most women starts out being every bit as curious about sex as guys, but society dictate that we behave modest unless we want a whore/slut tag. I think if you realize that we love and adore you and your body then you have no reason to feel self conscious. It's very freeing to just let go and love him body & mind.
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A
female
reader, Candie  +, writes (29 December 2008):
It would've been much better if he would shut up a little. Personally, i think he's not handling it wel by telling you how to do things. If he wants and enjoys talking dirty, let him take the lead. And as for you dear, you will get there love, slowly but surely. Keep doing it with him, eventually you will have all the confidence you need... It really gets better with time.
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A
female
reader, prenezmoila +, writes (29 December 2008):
 Whatever you're insecure about is making you self-conscious. You need to be comfortable with yourself. Once you are, you can be comfortable with him, too. Dirty talk isn't for everyone, and I myself feel awkward doing it. Not that this is really the healthiest or best recommendation, but, often, a good time to start experimenting with dirty talk and stuff like that is after you've been drinking. Not enough to be absolutely blasted, but enough to give you a bit of liquid confidence. This will loosen your insecurities and make you feel more compelled to do something different.
When it comes to going on top, it honestly feels MUCH better for the girl, if you want to think about it that way. Not only that, consider that, if it turns him on, you're turning him on. Therefore, you shouldn't feel self conscious about anything. You are the sex symbol in his life; feel more like one. Good luck!
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