A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend were going through a hard time recently, (all down to him being unfaithfull last year)i dont always bring it up but there are times when it gets to me and i do make references about it. over the phone we had a discussion, mainly me saying that if his heart is not in it then he should tell me as he seems distant again like he was at the time of his affair. the conversation progressed to him telling me that he cant give me what i want (i.e live together) and that he wants me to be happy even if that means meeting another man who can give me what i want. he then said he loves me. would a boyfriend tell you that if he loved you? am i wasting my time wating for him? our relatinship in general.. we see each other once sometimes two times each week we live in different towns, i see him only on the days he says as his work is alot more time consuming than mine and he "fits me in", usually he comes to mine and when here we only occasionally go out, most times we stay in and he either finishes left over work or watches tv. sometimes he gets here at 10pm and needs to leave the next morning early. just any advice please
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female
reader, mesugarbabe  +, writes (29 December 2008):
My thinking is this man feels a since of guilt and wants you to decide if you want to date him, without being held accountable for his actions. He knows you want to be with him and only him so this is why he is giving this choise to you. You need to bring this out in to the open and have a frank talk with this man. Tell him how much he is hurting you with his comments. Allow him some thinking time to reflact on this by not contacting him for a few weeks or so. Please give yourself time as will to relax,reflact,and understand your worth. You are worth as much as you say you are. Remember you are responiable for your own happiness. I hope just the every best for you and hope you can make the best choices for yourself...
A
female
reader, prenezmoila +, writes (29 December 2008):
 Honestly? Don't waste your time. If he was unfaithful, he will be again. He is no good for you. Emotions will be there, yeah, but they will fade with time. Not only that, there's plenty of great guys out there who aren't getting your attention because you're still chasing this bad choice! Good luck.
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